


I Haven't Changed Much At All

by Lexitennant2



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on an Instagram post, Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Fluff, M/M, Minor Violence, Other, check out the creator from the link in the summary, disclaimer: I don't usually write angst so let's see how this goes, some blood, there are some mentions of an abusive past marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2020-08-14 05:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20186920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexitennant2/pseuds/Lexitennant2
Summary: Crowley is finally going to admit it. The apocalypse is over and there's nothing to stop him from telling Aziraphale that he loves him. But it all goes horribly wrong when Aziraphale tells him there's still one obstacle between them, an archangel named Raphael who Aziraphale has loved since before the Garden of Eden. He believes Raphael is off in the stars and is still waiting for him, unaware that Raphael is standing right in front of him, and is the fallen angel turned demon, Crowley.Crowley must convince Aziraphale that he is Raphael without making the angel think he is tricking him, and regain his own memories so he can prove he is the one Aziraphale is waiting for.Based on this lovely tweet/art  (https://www.instagram.com/p/B05qOOzlRPb/) by Insta/Twitter durchhaliya.





	1. Things Take A Turn For The Worst

**Author's Note:**

> Updated on a wacky schedule.

The flat didn't feel like home anymore. To be fair it never really had, Crowley -whether he wanted to admit it or not- had always found his home in Aziraphale's bookshop. His flat was more so for convenience sake and a place for his plants. The flat had been bought somewhere in the 1980's - no one really questioned why a shady looking apartment all of a sudden changed to one you'd find in magazines showing off celebrity homes - because Crowley had wanted to be near Aziraphale. If he had it his way, he would have already been living in the little living area that was located above the bookshop, but heaven and hell would have never allowed it. There was at least one other benefit to the flat besides room for the plants, there was a bedroom. Occult and Ethereal beings didn't need sleep, but Aziraphale indulged in human food and Crowley indulged in the oblivion that was a dreamless nap. 

But now, after the apocalypse-that-wasn't, he was free to move in with the angel if he so chose to. He'd be living in a _real _home, and the flat could be converted into a storage area.

The angel had ended up saying yes to staying at his flat because the bookshop had burned down and neither at the time really understood that when Adam changed time, he'd erased all the horrid events of the day so now the bookshop was flame free, and all the books - plus some extras - had returned to their shelves.

Crowley had taken that as a sign that finally the angel was willing to take the next step. The very long and increasingly frustrating step that would let Crowley hold Aziraphale's hand, or even dare a kiss.

Crowley understood why the angel was so hesitant. Aziraphale had never questioned God or her rules, he acted as every good angel was supposed too; with kindness and love. He'd taken 6,000 years to admit out loud that they were friends, and Crowley figured that there were a lot of hangups surrounding that whole affair but he was very glad that he could now be seen in public with his angel and not have to worry about Aziraphale freaking out if they were seen.

But now there was nothing in the way of them getting together, and a week after the not-apocalypse - mostly spent getting acquainted with Anathema and the Them, and also hanging out more and more at the Ritz; St.James Park; the bookshop - Crowley was ready to tell Aziraphale how he felt. 

He was a hundred percent sure that Aziraphale felt the same way, but he figured that they'd left things unsaid for so long that talking about it and admitting it to each other in concise words - even though Crowley hated feelings and felt he was being rather brave for wanting to say '_I love you' _to Aziraphale - was the best course of action.

So now he was getting ready to go to the Ritz with Aziraphale. He'd miracled up rather snazzy looking snake skin boots in a beautiful green, and had switched his usual attire for even tighter pants then usual, and an emerald green button up that he'd rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He felt he looked rather good, and looking good always gave him courage, so he left his flat with his favorite Valentino sunglasses perched on his nose and drove like the _demon_ that he was to meet the angel at the Ritz.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to go like this. Out of everything Crowley could think of, ever good and bad scenario, he hadn't prepared for this one. 

He stared at the sunglasses in his hands and felt rather sick.

The evening had started out just fine. Crowley had tripped one or two waiters, and after a scolding from Aziraphale, they had settled into a blur of conversation. The topics ranged from how Adam was doing, too a rather persistent customer that the angel had to deal with in the day. Crowley responded by telling Aziraphale about a new Lady's-slipper he'd saved from a plant shop down the street because the owners had no clue on how to properly raise such a magnificent plant.

Aziraphale had made a comment about how _nice_ Crowley was, and Crowley played it off as he usually did, with dramatic offense. Even though he'd come to rather like being called nice. He turned to take a sip of wine to hide his blushing cheeks from the compliment, and that's when he'd seen the couple.

He never paid attention to anyone else in the restaurant, and most times wasn't even properly aware there were other diners besides Aziraphale and he, but this couple stood out. 

The woman was taller than her male companion - it was noticeable enough even when sitting - and covered in fine diamonds and looked like a young starlet. Her male companion was older and balding and in today's society they were probably be referenced too as a _sugar baby_ out with her _sugar daddy_. The man had discreetly pulled out a black box and opened it up to the woman to reveal a small diamond ring. There was an exchange of words and the ring was slipped onto her finger. 

Crowley was surprised no one else had seen this display and continued watching the humans, intrigued as to why they wouldn't want to boast about their engagement as many couples did. His eyes widened when he took in the girls face. She was staring at her fiance with such love and kindness that even a demon like himself could see she hadn't married the man for wealth, or fame, or whatever other greedy reason.

He turned away from the love pouring out of the couple and instead focused back on Aziraphale.

This was the second sign right? That had to be a good thing. He called over a waiter and told him to anonymously deliver a bottle of champagne to the happy couple.

He ordered dessert for himself and Aziraphale - Woodruff Mousse and Toasted Grue Ganache - which the angel ended up finishing both pieces, before they headed back to the book shop for their usual end to the evening which consisted of drinking into a stupor. 

Crowley was rather surprised when Aziraphale sat next to him on the couch and eagerly spread his legs out more so his knee would be pressed against Aziraphale's thigh. This was definitely the third sign, and third times the charm. The angel though took no notice and poured them both a drink. There was a continued conversation from earlier about the persistent customer, Crowley offered to revert into a snake and scare away the bastard but Aziraphale had looked scandalized at the mere suggestion.

They drank some more and were leaning into each other. Aziraphale was staring at him so intently that Crowley felt like he was on fire. He slowly removed his glasses and closed them with a _ click, _leaving them in his lap. Now was the time to do it, the moment was perfect.

And then the angel started giggling rather loudly.

"Do I have something on mah face?" Crowley slurred, wondering what in the world the angel was giggling at all of sudden when they'd been surley making dreamy eyes at each other just moments before.

"N-no my dear, I'm sorry." The angel said in between giggles. "I'm just remembering something a little boy said earlier when he came in with his mother."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Well, spit it out." He grumbled.

"It's something called a pun, and it was about _snakesss." _Aziraphale tried to make a hissing sound but he hiccuped at the same time and nearly jabbed Crowley in the eye with his finger. "You have snake eyes." The angel giggled again.

Crowley looked at the angel's finger cross eyed, trying to keep it in view for fear of further stabbing and said something that could be interpreted as, "You've known me for 6,000 years angel, of course I have snake eyes," but with far less vowels and consonants.

"Of course dear." This time the hand found its mark and fondly patted Crowley's cheek. "As I was saying, the young boy told me a marvelous snake pun."

Crowley wriggled closer to Aziraphale and motioned for his friend to continue after the angel stopped speaking and just stared at the long legs of the demon that appeared in his lap.

"Yes." Aziraphale licked his lips and tore his gaze away from the legs to Crowley, who was leaning in and had his face a few inches away from Aziraphale's.

"What is a snake's favorite author?" Aziraphale whispered as if no one else was allowed to hear the question.

Crowley wrinkled his nose and actually took a moment to consider this and said "von Goethe."

Aziraphale looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

Crowley shrugged and scratched nervously at the tattoo of the snake on his face.

"Just finish the pun angel."

Aziraphale cleared his throat. "Let me start again, what is a snake's favorite author?"

Crowley smirked. "I don't know, what is a snake's favorite author?"

Aziraphale gave a dramatic pause before shouting, "William Snakespeare."

Aziraphale began giggling madly again, leaning into the crook of Crowley's neck, and placing his hands on the demons legs, which were still on his lap and squeezing them, as if to anchor him to the couch for he was laughing so hard. Crowley found himself howling with laughter as well, drunk on wine and the feel of Aziraphale's breath on his neck and the angel's warm and thick hands on his calves.

"See _thisss_, is why I love you." Crowley said, wiping a tear from his eye before dissolving into another fit of giggles. He didn't notice right away that Aziraphale had pulled his face away from Crowley's neck, and was staring at him with a blank expression, his back rigid.

Crowley didn't notice what he said, and kept barreling on.

"Angel, the fact that you are talking about puns as if they're a new thing", _wheeze_, "oh goo- bad- Sa-Go-Someone I can't believe that you are this amazing."

Aziraphale calmly picked up Crowley's legs and set them down on the floor. Crowley's laughter died down and his hands reflexively reached for the glasses that had managed to stay in his lap.

He began to sober up, noticing that the angel had already done so, and bit his lip nervously. 

"Sorry that just came out, I was supposed to do that properly but alcohol doesn't ever prove a good mix for serious conversations." He looked gave a half smile to Aziraphale when he saw the angel's expression was tinged with something that Crowley really hoped wasn't terror.

"And I-"

Aziraphale was up in a flash and interrupting Crowley. "Okay Crowley, let me just get some tea!" He sounded cheerful enough but something still wasn't right with his face and Crowley had a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach.

Crowley heaved out a sigh and almost let the angel escape to make the tea that he normally made after they'd sobered up from drinking, but Crowley had enough of this. There was no time to back down and be cowardly, he didn't think he could go a moment longer without letting the angel know his true feelings. His hand struck out fast like a..well..snake and latched onto Aziraphale's arm right above the elbow.

"Wait!" He said, clenching his sunglasses with his other hand so hard the glass was digging into his palms.

Aziraphale loved him back didn't he? There's been three signs, _three! _and even without that they had an entire 6,000 years of friendship that Crowley could weave into a love story. There were so many moments were he had seen the angel ready to cave in. Aziraphale _had _to love him back, there was nothing to worry about.

Aziraphale had his back to Crowley but didn't shake loose the hand on his arm. He just turned his head over his shoulder and said "please Crowley, just let it go."

Crowley swallowed harshly. "Let it go?" His voice was hardly a whisper.

Aziraphale's face darkened and Crowley became aware of how rigid he was standing, as if Crowley's simple touch was _repulsive_. Crowley dropped his hand back into his lap and now clutched onto his sunglasses with two hands as if it were a lifeline.

"My dear, please, let me just get the tea-"

"Can you just _shut up _this time!" Crowley snapped, ignoring how unstable Aziraphale's voice was.

There was a _crack_ and Crowley looked down to see he'd snapped his sunglasses in half. Crowley made a huffing noise as he dragged his hand over his face and then pushed his hair back. He was getting more nervous by the second, his leg starting to jiggle up and down.

"Aziraphale." He breathed out, and the angel looked at him with worry and caution. Crowley swallowed again, not used to the dry mouth he was experiencing. The angel had _never_ looked at him with caution in his eyes.

"I love you angel." He said strongly, leaving no word for argument.

"I've been in love with you since Eden. I know you think demons can't love but," Crowley shrugged and a tender smile started to blossom on his face, "when I'm with you my heart beats faster, my world brightens up. You make me so _happy_, the happiest I've ever been." Crowley looked up from his glasses and smiled up at Aziraphale. "There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you. I'd abandon hell of you so wish."

He waited patiently for a response but Aziraphale didn't say anything. He'd turned his head away sometime during Crowley's speech and stood with his back fully to Crowley now.

"Please, say _something _angel." Crowley pleaded.

Aziraphale shifted in his spot and ever so softly said, "_thank you," _before he walked away from Crowley to go into the kitchen to presumably make tea.

So this is where Crowley was now. Sitting forlornly on the leather sofa, staring down at his ruined sunglasses as if they had the answers. He felt horrible, an awful sick feeling was spreading all over his body and on top of it his throat was closing up and he felt like choking. He didn't want to admit it but he knew this feeling, he knew he was seconds away from breaking down and crying in the book shop.

He took a shuddering breath and rose up from the couch, letting the sunglasses fall from his lap to the floor. He stepped around them and walked to the kitchen where the angel was flitting around searching for tea leaves. He was acting as if nothing had happened. 

"Thank you?" Crowley said calmly and Aziraphale shuddered to a halt, his hand hovering over the tea bag he'd just found, with a spoon.

"That's all you have to say?"

There was a new tension in the air. Crowley crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame, trying for casual but giving off a vibe that would scare away the toughest of bikers.

"I suppose that wasn't a proper response. I apologize my dear." Aziraphale said, slowly scooping up some tea and spooning it into two porcelain tea cups.

"You _supposed _right." Crowley said through gritted teeth.

They stood in silence as Crowley tried to figure what was going on. Was the angel just overwhelmed by the confession and had just blurted out the first thing on his mind? Crowley could understand that, nerves could do that to a person, even an ethereal one. Or maybe Aziraphale hadn't fully gripped the meaning of _I love you. _Maybe he was thinking Crowley meant it in a friendship way and was sad that it wasn't love. Crowley had said that demons could love hadn't he? He needed an explanation, and then everything would be fine. He'd have an angel to hug and kiss in a few minutes after this was all fixed. The choking feeling was coming back in full force and he hoarsely whispered out "well?"

As Aziraphale turned to face him the demon shrank back in himself. He had read the signs wrong, how could have done that? He swore by the.._eugh_ bible, that he could read Aziraphale like a book. He _knew _deep down that Aziraphale loved him in the same way, so what was with the angel's reaction, and why was the angel looking at him with..._pity?_

"I'm so sorry my dear." Aziraphale said, taking a tentative step forward. "There's someone else."

Crowley's vision tunneled and he felt as if he were in a very bad romance novel. There had only been the two of them for the last 6,000 years, how could he have missed a '_someone else'?_

"How?" He asked weakly.

"It was before the fall," Aziraphale said softly, "there was another angel, I used to spend most of my time with them." Aziraphale had a tender smile on his face that was similar to the one Crowley had earlier and the demon clenched his fists tight, his sharp nails digging into the flesh of his palm the way the sunglasses had. He should have summoned a new pair, his eyes ere too exposed this way. Eyes were the windows to the soul and he was a clear glass opening for Aziraphale to look into.

"Then where are they?" Crowley asked around the growing lump in his throat, his throat starting to hurt even more with the effort along with his eyes.

Aziraphale looked uncertain. "I was told that God sent him away to work on the galaxies and stars some more, but he promised to come back to me, and I promised to wait."

"Ssso all this time, you've been what? Playing with me?" The hisses were coming out, but unlike before it wasn't because he was drunk and feeling comfortable, it was because he was angry and hurt." 

"Oh dear boy, no I-"

"All thesse yearsss and I've been an utter fool." Crowley snarled, his back twitched with the urge to spread out his wings and he shook it away, focusing all his energy on the worried angel before him. "_You go too fast for me Crowley." _He mocked, not noticing Aziraphale flinch. "I thought you sssaid that because you were afraid that heaven would catch usss. I wass fine with that, I _underssstood _that. But apparently we're never going to be on the same page Aziraphale becaussse you couldn't even tell me you were in love with sssomeone else until I bloody confessssed to you!" 

Crowley's voice cracked and his vision became horribly blurry as he began breaking down.

"Crowley." Aziraphale took another step forward and Crowley took a step back, his eyes wild.

"That goess to ssshow how much our friendsship meansss to you doesssn't it?" The anger was starting to fade a little and there was just a hollowness that replaced it.

"My dear boy, I promise you that wasn't my intention at all."

"_Don't _call me that!" He snarled, the anger returning.

"Tell me their name." 

"Crowley I-"

"_Tell me their name!" _He shouted and slammed his fist against the door frame hard enough that the shop shook and there was now a Crowley sized fist in the wood.

"Raphael." Aziraphale said and there was a small moment where Crowley felt as if he was floating. Just a small moment where he couldn't feel anything at all as the name reached his ears.

Of course it was _Raphael. _How bloody ironic. 

Crowley snapped back into reality and saw that his wings had unfurled and were not hovering threateningly above him as he wished they would be, but were curling around him as if to shield him from Aziraphale. 

A sharp laugh bubbled up from his chest and mixed in with the freely falling tears. He knew he looked and sounded manic but he couldn't help it. Of course Aziraphale was in love with _Raphael. _Wasn't that the cruel and twisted way the world worked? Aziraphale was in love with an angel that had fallen and was now standing before him.

Crowley, that's no way to behave." Aziraphale said, getting angry at the demons reaction.

Crowley smiled cruelly. "Oh really?" His voice was cold. He'd never spoken to Aziraphale in such a way before and the angel stared at him in a mixture of surprise and anger.

The demon shoved his wings back, wiped the tears from his face, and forced his voice to take the tone it did when he was tempting a human.

"Now, who told you that angel? That God had sent your _precious _archangel away. _Gallivanting_ around the universe creating such _wondrous_ things is he?"

Aziraphale's face reddened with anger.

"Crowley just because I rejected you doesn't mean-"

"Oh yes, you _rejected _me. No need to remind little old me of _that fact. _But tell me angel, who has led you to believe _that Raphael is still up in the heavens?"_

Aziraphale's anger turned to confusion. "Gabriel did." His hands were twisting together in their usual tell tale sign of anxiousness.

"Of course he did." Crowley nodded his head and made his voice velvety smooth, like honey being poured from a jar into a tall glass.

"And you believed him." He stalked forward and tilted Aziraphale's chin up with one, slender finger.

His eyes searched in the blue pool that was Aziraphale's, trying to memorize every soft curve of his angel's face. He swallowed when he saw the heartbroken expression on Aziraphale's face, shinning like a beacon through the confusion and anger.

"_Raphael _is no more angel." There was bitterness laced in with softness. He wanted this blow to be gentle, because he still loved Aziraphale. It wasn't the angels fault that Gabriel had lied to him, that the naive angel had his memory wiped and couldn't see that Raphael was now Crowley.

"You're lying." Aziraphale whispered horrified. "Crowley you have never been more _demonic_ to me until now." Aziraphale's eyes hardened and Crowley watched as if in slow motion as Aziraphale swatted his hand away from his chin.

It was like a slap to the face. A slap to the face that made Crowley feel as if he was the Earth, experiencing aftershock, after aftershock from an earthquake.

There was a line in the sand, and it had been so far crossed that Crowley could walk for days and never find it again.

Crowley summoned a new pair of sunglasses on and slid them onto his face. He gave his wings a hearty shake before tucking them back into the other plane. 

"I am a demon _Aziraphale_, as you once said, _it's in my nature." _He turned around and began walking away, pausing at the doorway. There was no getting through to the angel this way but he could at least give him a parting gifts of sorts. The angel deserved to know part of the truth if not the whole truth. Crowley didn't even know how to breach the subject that he was Raphael. He knew the angel would think he was playing a cruel trick on him especially after the fight they'd just had. He turned over his shoulder and said as gently as he could, "talk to Gabriel. Raphael is long gone."

He stalked out of the kitchen, ignoring the sound of Aziraphale's feet coming after him and the angel yelling "_how do you know?!" _

He snapped his fingers and was gone from the shop before Aziraphale could reach him. He had made sure to take along any essence of him that had been left in the shop in the form of the plants he'd gifted Aziraphale, or blankets he'd brought to take a nap on the couch, as long as his occult essence which meant that not even God herself would know he'd ever been there unless she tried very hard.

But as the case was, he did end up leaving behind, one small thing, a pair of broken sunglasses.


	2. Nanny Ashtoreth Returns

The small village of Tadfield had a new resident. She was a rather pretty lady, who was rather stern with the village kids but could also be seen given them lolly’s or patting them fondly on their heads.

She dressed rather fashionably in expensive looking dresses and silk wrap blouses, so many people wondered why she would move to such a small town. She wasn’t old enough to retire so that idea was scratched out. Rumors circled around that she was running from the mafia, or she was a newly divorced woman and her idea of a mid-life crisis was to move to the country because she’d blown all her money, but R. P Tyler stopped that nonsense right away. 

The village was rather small so they had a tendency for gossip. They talked about how whenever they saw her she was wearing sunglasses, even at night! and that no one was sure she even had a first name because she always introduced herself as Ashtoreth, or Nanny Ashtoreth to the children. 

But she was rather kind and kept to herself so they liked her and gossip had died down almost miraculously so that it never reached the area in Tadfield where a certain witch and antichrist resided.

Crowley had not been planning on setting up a home in Tadfield. He hadn’t been sure in the beginning where he should go, maybe the Bahamas so he could live in luxury and warmth, or maybe North America? No, they had enough trouble there as it was. So he’d climbed into his Bentley with a shoebox that was filled with all his personal possessions that he’d miracled small so it would fit inside, and just started driving.

He’d ended up in front of a foreclosed cottage on the other side of Tadfield from where Anathema and the Them lived, and he spent all night refurbishing it and taking things out of the shoebox and placing them in the rooms.

Crowley didn’t come to Tadfield with the idea of becoming Nanny Ashtoreth. He had planned on just becoming a shut in and sleeping until the world burned up and ended for real, but he came across a familiar skirt and hat that he’d carelessly stuffed into another box that contained some of Warlock’s old toys and a book of pressed flowers. He didn’t remember keeping those things and looking at everything made him start to tear up again.

Especially the damn book.

The book was of average size and had thin and gauzy paper bound together by a fine leather backing. It was filled with Daffodils and Daylilies, Roses and Chrysanthemums. These were all the flowers that Crowley had helped Aziraphale plant. When they had first come up with the idea, Crowley had naturally assumed that Aziraphale would be the Nanny and Crowley would be the gardener.

Aziraphale had insisted though that Crowley be the one to take on the role of Nanny. Crowley had never figured out why Aziraphale wanted to be the gardener so badly, but he had accepted the role and with a quick wardrobe change and some makeup and hair spray he had become Nanny Ashtoreth.

He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he missed the lipstick and heels.

He opened the book to a pressed Violet that still had dirt on its leaves and stroked its stem with his finger.

Aziraphale had been horrible as a gardener. It’d been a wonder he even knew what fertilizer was. On top of having to nanny Warlock, Crowley had found himself also going into the gardens after he’d put the child to bed so he could fix up the mess that Aziraphale had left behind.

He didn’t need the angel blowing their cover by getting fired for being hired as a gardener that couldn’t tell one seedling from another, so he spent weekends and any other spare time that he could trying to teach the angel how to properly garden. Or at least tend to a garden sufficiently enough that he wouldn’t be kicked off the property on his ass.

The Violet had one of the few flowers that Aziraphale had managed to make blossom beautifully without the help of the demons threats or watchful eye. Crowley felt the hurt and anger burning in his chest and pulled his arm back to throw it into the fireplace that automatically lit itself the minute his arm had moved, but he paused and sank to his knees in a weak heap. The fire went out and he carefully placed the book back into the box and pulled out the skirt.

Being Nanny Ashtoreth came with its pros and cons. He could be around children again - he’d always loved making them laugh or listen to their wild stories fueled by even wilder imagination, though he would never admit that to anyone - and he could hide in plain sight because Adam and Anathema had no idea who nanny was. Though he did set up a few protective miracles so the gossip of that area of the town wouldn’t reach the antichrist and witches ears, just incase they had been kept in the loop about what had happened between himself and the angel. The cons though were he was always reminded as his time as Nanny Ashtoreth with Aziraphale by his side. 

He tried changing up the look; growing his hair longer so the red locks brushed past his shoulders by a few inches and adding more colors to his wardrobe - though they were still dark shades. They didn’t seem like big enough changes but he felt they were good enough, but he couldn’t let the name go. The name was the biggest problem of all and of course he was stuck to it like glue.

Everytime he heard a neighbor call to him in the grocery store, or a child shouting for him in the street, he was reminded of how it used to roll off of Aziraphale’s tongue.

“ _ Why Nanny Ashtoreth, yer lookin’ fine dis evenin’. Can ye spare a moment to talk with me in the gardens?” _

Crowley took the pain of the memories and made himself the best damn Nanny he could possibly be, and even went so far as to start offering his services to some of the moms.

“If only Aziraphale could see me now.” He murmured to himself, standing over a small toddler as the child threw oats at some ducks. He had tried to get the child to throw bread pieces to the ducks but the girl was adamant about feeding the ducks food that wouldn’t harm them. Nanny Ashtoreth had tried to explain that ducks were the embodiment of evil but the girl was rather stubborn.

“What was that?” The mom of the toddler asked him. He’d forgotten for a moment that he wasn’t alone with the human child. 

“Oh nothing dear, I was just talking to myself,” Nanny Ashtoreth waved her hand dismissively and returned her attention to the little girl. 

“I wanted to thank you again for watching Mary on such short notice.” The mom hoisted her purse strap higher up her shoulder and Nanny Ashtoreth gave her a rare and genuine smile.

“It’s always a pleasure Ms. Miller, you know I’m rather fond of you and your family.”

“Please, I’ve told you to call me Samantha.” The mom insisted, her cheeks blushing from the compliment.

Samantha Miller was a single mom who worked weird hours at the grocery store the next town over because it had better pay than the one in Tadfield. She had an overweight Beagle named Buster, and two children. Mary was three years old and a quick learner for her age, Jamie was eight and obsessed with building model airplanes and cars.

“I would also have asked if you could watch Jamie but thankfully we had already made plans a week in advance for him to sleepover at his best friends house. I really wish they wouldn’t keep calling me to cover a shift but I need all the money I can get.” Samantha was only in her early thirties but the job and stress of being a single woman made her appear as the personification of tired.

He made a noise of sympathy and squeezed the shorter woman’s shoulder, not lingering too long on the contact. The woman looked at Nanny Ashtoreth gratefully and then made her way away from the park and to her car, kissing Mary on the head before doing so.

He had met Samantha and her two children a few days after he’d settled into the cottage. She had come knocking on his door with Jamie hiding behind her skirt and a plate of cookies in her hand and Mary in her other.

She had presented the cookies to him in the embarrassed but proud way parents did whenever their children made something and told him it was a welcome to the neighborhood gift. He’d accepted the over iced cookies as if they were a precious and rare food and thanked her whole heartedly.

No one but Aziraphale had shown him such kindness before. Anathema and the Them liked him well enough, but they had a shared traumatic experience. This was a complete stranger doing a kind act for a demon, even if they had no clue that he was a demon, Crowley was still a stranger and the woman had no idea what his character could be.

He had taken an instant liking to Samantha and her children, and secretly favored them over the rest of the moms and their children.

The underlying reason for that might have had something to do with the fact that Samantha looked rather familiar to a specific angel. Same white curls, kind blue eyes, and plump, petite frame.

Nanny Ashtoreth squatted down beside Mary once Samantha left and offered her hand palm up to the young girl. Mary grabbed a fistful of oats in her small, pudgey hand and eagerly dropped them into Nanny Ashtoreth’s awaiting palm.

He threw some at the creatures that called themselves ducks and watched diligently as one ate a piece of oat and fell over. He turned to his right to see the angel’s reaction because Mary was too busy digging into the bag for more oats and caught himself staring at the trees that lined the pond they were by. Aziraphale wasn’t there anymore, he possibly never would be again. Nanny Ashtoreth still snapped his fingers and the duck righted itself up and waddled away to eat more oats.

He and Mary fed the ducks some more and then had a picnic that Crowley had brought for their lunch. He had gotten rather good at cooking things and was delighted whenever Mary ate the food and demanded excitedly for more.

They rested for a bit after lunch, with Nanny Ashtoreth sitting with her back against the tree, and Mary sitting in her lap.

Mary took a hold of one of Nanny Ashtoreth’s strands of hair and tugged gently. “I wan stowey.” 

Nanny Ashtoreth couldn’t help but smile at the toddler’s speech and booped the girl gently on the nose with her finger.

“Try that again Mary. What do we say when we want something?” 

“Can I pw-pwease,” Mary’s eyes went cross eyed as she thought rather hard on what to say next, “have a stowey Nanny Ashtwoth?”

He smiled and gave her a kiss on her forehead for her efforts and then urged the child to rest back against his chest as he began a story that he used to tell Warlock when the boy had been around Mary’s age.

Mary was asleep not even halfway through and Nanny Ashtoreth tightened her hold on the young and watched the breeze ruffled the cattails that sat by the pond. Nanny could hear laughter coming from the other side of the pond and she squinted her eyes to see if she could spot anyone.

He spotted a familiar head of curls and his heart stopped. He pushed up his sunglasses and violently rubbed at his eyes, sure he was seeing things.

The white blond curls hadn’t disappeared, they seemed to be coming closer. They were also joined by bushy brown curls in the form of the witch Anathema, and neatly messy brown curls that belonged to the one and only antichrist, Adam.

Nanny Ashtoreth wondered why everyone he knew seemed to have curly hair before he shook away that silly thought. 

Aziraphale should  _ not  _ be here. Were there not closer parks in Tadfield to Anathema and Adam where they could all go? Nanny Ashtoreth gently started nudging Mary so the toddler would wake. 

Mary woke up with a small yawn and blinked up at him in confusion.

“Mary dear, we need to get going.”

Mary’s face started scrunching up in the familiar tell of the start of a tantrum and Nanny Ashtoreth nervously glanced back at the trio who were advancing closer. He was starting to see the details of Aziraphale’s face quite clearly and now he was panicking.

“Mary love, please don’t cry. Nanny will get you an ice-lolly if you come along with no fuss.”

Mary instantly brightened up and Nanny Ashtoreth stood up fast, scooping the girl tightly into his arms and prepared to leave. He snapped his fingers so the evidence of the picnic was gone and went to push his sunglasses back down over his eyes but he stood frozen as he once more looked at the trio.

Adam and Aziraphale hadn’t noticed him, but Anathema had.

She wore a guarded expression, and had stopped walking so she could move in front of Aziraphale so she could block the angel from Nanny Ashtoreth’s view.

So that’s how it was going to be huh? The witch had chosen her side quite clearly. Because there was no longer an  _ our side.  _ They were back to being on two separate sides of the line, and Aziraphale had taken Adam and Anathema with him.

He fumbled to push his glasses back over his eyes and bolted the moment he saw Anathema changing her trajectory so she was storming towards him.

He could only pray to Sat-Go-someone that Aziraphale hadn’t noticed him, and that Anathema would be too protective of the angel to let him know that the demon had been within a hundred feet of each other five months after that horrible argument in the shop.

* * *

Anathema was on his doorstep the next day.

He had been returning from the grocery store when he spotted the familiar silhouette with the long dark blue dress. He parked the Bentley and got out of the car with the bag of balanced on his hips and a forced polite smile on his face.

"Hello dear, can I help you?" He asked the witch, hoping that she'd be fooled by his dark red wrap dress and how he addressed her as if he didn't know her.

"I'm not dumb." She said plainly.

He bristled. "I wasn't implying that." He said and flicked his finger towards the doorknob so the door swung open. He pushed past the witch into his home and the witch followed before he could shut the door on her face.

He stood in the hallway and removed his heels so he could slip into a pair of warm slippers and motioned for Anathema to do the same, forcing her to follow him into the kitchen in her bare feet.

"Now, what can I do for you _witch?_" He was still rather hurt by how blatantly she'd reacted the day before to seeing him. As if he were going to stomp right over to Aziraphale and yell and do other horrible things the witch had came up with. There was no point in acting nice to her, she had clearly taken Aziraphale's words and made a judgement call based on them, rather than waiting to hear Crowley out.

He snapped his fingers and he was back in skinny jeans and a soft silk button up. Anathema was not worthy of Nanny Ashtoreth's presence.

Anathema took a seat on one of the stools that surrounded the kitchen island and regarded him with a keen eye.

Crowley, of course, had decorated the inside of his cottage the same modern minimalistic as his flat had been, and if the dimensions of the inside of the cottage did not match up with the inside, well no one thought to mention it when they visited him. 

“It’s been five months since we last saw you.” Anathema said.

Crowley raised an eyebrow. “Stating the obvious.” He snarked, taking his groceries out of their brown paper bag and arranging them out on the black marble countertop of the island.

“We had thought you’d disappeared to another continent. Aziraphale was terribly worried when he couldn’t find you at your flat.”

Crowley perked up at the thought of Aziraphale trying to find him even after that horrible fight, but hated himself immediately for taking pleasure in that. He might be hurting, but he didn’t want his angel to be hurting even more with his absence after Crowley had already dumped the whole  _ Raphael is gone  _ news on him. 

“Imagine my surprise to see that you had actually just moved about an hour away from me in the same village.”

Crowley stared at a bag of chips with faked interest. “Don’t worry, I regret that choice now.

“After what you did to Aziraphale you’re lucky I didn’t find you right away and haven’t hexed you on the spot. And who’s daughter was that? I’ve heard you’re going around town as Nanny Ashtoreth just nannying children.”

“I’m  _ lucky  _ you didn’t hex me?” Crowley drew himself to full height. “You shouldn’t meddle in things that are none of your business.”

“But you both are my fri-”

“I’m not your  _ friend  _ Anathema. You have made that very clear by how you stepped in front of Aziraphale yesterday as if I was going to attack him or something. You made it even more clear when you came here not to get  _ my  _ side of the story but to threaten me.” He snarled, banging his fist against the marble.

“I know, I know, I’m just a  _ demon.  _ I am logically hurting Aziraphale for my own enjoyment right?” He hated how his voice cracked as he said ‘demon’ and he turned his back to Anathema.

Anathema at least had the decency to look ashamed.

“Can you just leave me at peace Anathema.” He found himself pleading, turning back to face her. “You may not believe it but I’m hurting just as much as he is if not more.”

Anathema seemed to be fighting an inner war within herself. 

“You’re right, I haven’t been a good friend and I apologize for that Crowley.” She stood up from the stool and walked over to stand next to him on the other side of the island. She hesitantly covered his hand with hers and he looked down at her in shock.

“Tell me what happened. I won’t say anything until I’ve heard everything you have to say.”

Crowley looked at the smaller and darker skinned hand that covered his own and frowned.

“I promise Crowley, I’ll listen, really listen.” Anathema urged.

So Crowley told her how the fight had gone down, he even hesitated to tell her about his confession, but figured Aziraphale had already told her about it so there was no need to hide it. When he reached the Raphael part she stopped him.

“Aziraphale still hasn’t found the courage to talk to Gabriel about Raphael. But I can tell from your face that you know more about Raphael than probably even Gabriel.”

Crowley nodded his head and removed his sunglasses so Anathema could see he was telling the truth. He trusted the witch to be able to decipher his true feelings and she proved herself by not even showing surprise or flinching at his neon yellow and slitted eyes.

“The reason for that would be.” He paused and scratched his tattoo nervously. Anathema squeezed his hand reassuringly. 

He started again.

“The reason for that is I am  _ Raphael. _ ” 


	3. At The Fair

Anathema did not react in any way that Crowley expected. She didn’t accuse him of being a liar, or ask him if he’d hit his head recently. She also didn’t laugh at him or faint, or any other silly notion he had in his head.

Instead, she said “I always wondered why your aura was similar to Aziraphale’s.”

Crowley looked at her questioningly.

“At the air base, that demon with all the flies had a murky grey aura that was faintly silver, and that grey suited bloke had a golden aura around him, same as Aziraphale. You on the other hand, have a mixture of both. It’s like the colors are blending into each other when they meet.”

Crowley was startled at this revelation. He’d forgotten that Anathema had been gifted with the power of sight. She didn't often bring it up, only mentioning it once or twice during the one week after the not-apocalypse they’d all hung out together. She had sprung out of her chair when they’d been enjoying tea in her back garden, and had exclaimed that she could finally see Adam’s aura, though it was still much harder to focus on than any other people she had met.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” She asked gently.

Crowley shrugged and started playing with the bag of chips again. “ It was right in the heat of the fight Anathema, he doesn’t trust me anymore. How do you think he’d feel if I just sprung onto him the fact that I am-was Raphael? I did enough damage by saying Raphael is gone. Aziraphale needs to move on.”

He set the chips back down and leaned back against the counter so he could stare outside the window, his mind getting distracted by how beautiful the sky was. It’d been a while since he thought about being back up there, forming the sunset and sunrise themselves; molding the stars and nebulas; playing in the clouds.

Crowley looked tore his gaze away from the window and cleared his throat. “Besides, I can’t really prove I’m him.”

Anathema regarded him. “Couldn’t you just tell Aziraphale things only Raphael would know?”

“That’s the thing, I _don’t_ _know _what things Raphael would know. My memories all..hazy and splotchy.” He waved his hands above his head trying to physicalize his description. “I’m only certain about a few things. Every couple centuries or so a new memory will crop up but I don’t think Aziraphale will wait another 6,000 years for me to fully remember and prove to him I once was the man he loved.”

“He still loves you Crowley.” Anathema said.

Crowley let out a huff of a laugh. “He loves  _ Raphael,  _ Anathema. I might look like him, sound like him, maybe even think like him from time to time but I am  _ not  _ him. I’ve accepted that.” He closed his eyes and leaned against the counter tiredly. “I just don’t think Aziraphale will, or can.”

Anathema shook her head. “Don’t you see Crowley, sure he’s still in love with Raphael, but he’s also in love with  _ you. _ ”

Once again he was startled by her. The determination was alight in her eyes.

“He came looking for you not just because of what you said about Gabriel, but because he misses you terribly. Do you really think he would have given you the holy water, or stood by your side at any given time if he didn’t love you just as much as you love him? That’s why it’s so hard for him. He’s promised himself to Raphael but he is still clearly pinning for you too!” She was panting heavily, not pausing to take a breath during her mini speech.

“His heart is so broken Crowley.” She looked down at her hands and then clenched them into fists. “He has so much love to give but it’s not enough. His heart is tearing in two Crowley, one side for Raphael and one for you. Help him please,  _ talk  _ to him.”

Crowley looked away, feeling ashamed. “He’s a fool.” He whispered, horrified to see a tear drop fall from his face and onto the counter. He hadn’t even been aware he was crying, but now he could feel the stickiness on his cheeks.

There was a ring at the doorbell and both of the occupants looked at each other in surprise. 

With the snap of his fingers his hair was in a loose pony-tail and he was back in the blue dress from earlier. With a final sniff, he wiped away any traces of his crying and shoved his sunglasses firmly back onto his face and headed towards the front door.

Anathema followed, stopping a few paces away from the door.

Crowley opened the door to find Samantha standing on the porch. She gave a small wave when she saw Nanny Ashtoreth.

“Hello dearie.” Nanny Ashtoreth’s thoughts raced through his brain as he tried to remember if he was supposed to meet up Samantha that day. She was clearly dressed up, in a pretty floral patterned dress that accentuated her curves, and her hair had an extra shine to it.

“I tried to phone you earlier but your line doesn’t seem to be working.”

Nanny Ashtoreth winced. Telemarketers had been one of his greatest achievements down in hell, but like many of his inventions they always ended up affecting him too. Even his demonic miracles and private cell phone couldn’t keep them away, and the night before had been call after call so he’d shut his phone off completely so he could get some sleep.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the fair early? You’re already doing so much for me what with watching Jamie and Mary later today while I run the booth, but Hannah Mallory just came down with the flu and she can’t help me set up this mornin’.” Samantha tucked a strand of hair behind her hair nervously and looked up at Nanny Ashtoreth with a pleading look.

He tried not to let his expression change as he told her he’d be more than delighted to help her. Nanny Ashtoreth had completely forgotten about the Tadfield fair. He’d been told about it the second month he’d came to live there, and Samantha had insisted that he come. He’d ended up offering to watch her children as well, and had promptly forgotten the conversation.

“I completely forgot about the fair.” Anathema exclaimed suddenly. “I was going to go with the Them and Newt.” She side eyed Nanny Ashtoreth as she said that, gaging his reaction at having the others at the fair as well.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had..company.” Samantha looked over Nanny Ashtoreth’s shoulder to get a good look at Anathema. Her sunny disposition had disappeared as she took in Anathema’s tall and willowy figure, and she crossed her arms over her stomach self-consciously.

Anathema was quite clever and understood what was going on right away. She offered her hand to the shorter blonde who shook it reluctantly. “Eve was just telling me about you.” She said smoothly.

Nanny Ashtoreth looked at her sharply as Samantha blushed. 

“My  _ boyfriend  _ and I were the ones who actually suggested that Eve should move to Tadfield.” 

Samantha was back to her cheery self when she heard the emphasis Anathema put on boyfriend.

“You both  _ must  _ come by my booth. Its number forty five, it’s a little ways walk about smack in the middle of everything but I promise it’s worth it. My jam and custards have won every year.” Samantha flushed as she boasted a bit. 

Anathema thought it was rather cute how Samantha was trying to impress Nanny Ashtoreth. She felt that some light teasing would help the mood after such a heavy discussion in the kitchen, and it was quite clear to the witch that Nanny Ashtoreth liked Samantha too some degree. 

Anathema figured that he really did have a type.

Nanny Ashtoreth told Samantha that she was going to change and Samantha said she’d wait for him in her car. As Samantha walked away, Nanny Ashtoreth whirled around and was back to Crowley. 

“You think your funny do you?”

Anathema shrugged, not hiding her smirk.

“And Eve, really?” He asked as he started walking back towards the kitchen. Anathema followed as they walked through the side door off the kitchen leading to a living room with stairs leading up to an open landing where Crowley’s bedroom was.

“It’s quite fitting. All I’ve heard is you go by  _ Ashtoreth.  _ No sensible person goes by just their last name in a small town.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and started pulling clothes out of his wardrobe. 

He found a rather nice looking outfit and snapped his fingers so the clothes would fly off their hangers and reassemble themselves back on his body. He had a soft and stretchy mauve dress that flared out at his waist and stopped at his knees. It was off the shoulder and he paired it with snakeskin heels and a large floppy black sun hat.

He shook his hair out of its pony-tail and offered to Anathema his wardrobe but she shook her head and said she’d be ok in her dress. 

Nanny Ashtoreth knew it would get much hotter but didn’t push, and the two left the cottage, Nanny Ashtoreth heading towards Samantha’s car, and Anathema heading back to her own cottage promising to see them both once the fair opened.

* * *

The fair was taking place on a large stretch of land that was surrounded by Strawberry fields. Nanny Ashtoreth made sure to tell his shoes that they were not to get muddy or sink into the grass as he and Samantha made their way from the parking lot over to the booth, both their arms laden with the last few jars of jam and custard. They had used the kids wheelbarrows to bring the first few batches of custard and jam over to the booth.

Jamie and Mary were already at the booth when they first arrived. Samantha's mother, an elderly woman by the name of Joyce, had been watching over the booth and the children. There were pleasantries traded between Nanny Ashtoreth and Joyce and the woman left as soon as Samantha was settled.

Jamie and Mary all but tackled Nanny Ashtoreth once she had unloaded the jars, and she had to fight a smile as she firmly scolded them for not properly greeting him. But he was on his knees not a moment later with his arms wide open so he could properly hug them because he really was a big softie. 

There were chairs set up behind the booth and the four of them all took seats as they waited for people to show up. They had about ten minutes to relax before the fair opened so Jamie only stayed sitting for a few seconds before bolting off to a few booths over where his friends were helping their own parents. 

Mary happily sat in her chair and played with a stuffed giraffe Samantha had given her.

"I know I keep saying this but thank you again." Samantha reached over and hesitantly put her hand on Nanny Ashtoreth's arm. "You've been a true friend _Eve." _Her blush was back and Nanny Ashtoreth found himself smiling. He could get used to be called Eve, it was certainly shorter and it hurt less to be reminded of his first temptation than to be reminded of his time with Aziraphale watching of Warlock.

"I'm very glad you consider me a friend." Eve flipped his arm over and moved it so he could interlace his fingers with Samantha. The young woman looked at their hands in astonishment before a large smile over took her face. Eve felt something settling in his heart. He would _never _give up on Aziraphale, not fully. And it wasn't healthy to be turning his affections on this woman because she resembled his angel, he was hurting her in the long run and he didn't want to do that. But it was _nice _to hold her hand, to have this kind of connection with someone. He had never fit in with heaven or hell, and he thought he had fit in at the bookshop with an angel who understood his predicament, but now he was alone again - partially his fault, he could admit that - and Samantha was standing there, offering to fill the gap Aziraphale had left in his heart.

He really was a shitty demon he thought as guilt set into his heart as he squeezed their hands.

"You're always so secretive." Samantha said, keeping her voice hushed so the other booth tenders couldn't eavesdrop. "I mean I just learned your first name today and we have known each other for _five _months."

"It's hard for me to open up to people." Eve replied quietly, rubbing his thumb in a slow caress against her soft flesh. "This was a fresh start for me, a way for me to cut ties but..I'm just not that type of person. The past always has a way of catching up with me, and I will fight tooth and nail for _certain _parts of my past to stay with me." There was an edge of determination and desperation in his voice that he hopped Samantha hadn't noticed.

The blonde however had noticed and scooted her chair closer to him. She placed the hand not interlaced with his under his jaw. 

"You always wear those silly sunglasses."

Eve shrank back slightly, aware of their closeness.

Mary suddenly gave a shriek that meant she was ready to cry and Eve used that as an excuse to pull away from Samantha. He got up from his chair and scooped Mary so she was balanced on his hip. "Mary's probably getting rather bored, I'll walk around with her so she can see all the other booths."

Eve knew he was running away but his emotions were slamming into him from all directions. Demons weren't supposed to have emotions.

He was reminded about Anathema's earlier words about his aura. She made it sound as if he was still partially angel. If that was true, and he was neither full demon or full angel, than what in the world was he?

He looked away from Samantha's hurt expression and froze when he saw a young boy standing in front of him, blocking his path out of the booth.

Adam young had grown taller in the last five months but was still the charming and nice looking ex-antichrist that Eve remembered.

The boy looked up at him in shock, and Eve was aware out of the corner of his eyes that Anathema and Newt were running towards them, and he also felt Samantha's gaze on his back.

"Crowley?" Adam asked.

And Eve, who was just as much Crowley as she was Nanny Ashtoreth, let out a tiny whisper.

"Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but I'm quite busy getting ready to go back to college, I promise the next one will be longer!


	4. I Was Once Raphael

Eve let out a weird high pitched giggle, which startled Adam.

Mary gave a similar giggle, but less terrifying, and tugged on her nanny’s hair. Eve turned her attention to the little toddler and then back to the twelve year old antichrist before her.

“What are you doing here?” Eve hissed at Adam, urging Anathema and Newt to run faster through the crowd. Were humans always this slow?

“What am I doing here?” The boy scoffed. “It’s a festival Crowley. I didn’t end the world, I think that means I’m allowed to enjoy my life as a normal teenage boy, and that includes going to the towns festival.” Adam’s tone was sarcastic and Crowley frowned. He’d forgotten how bratty children became when they were starting to go through puberty. 

“Crawly.” Mary said, and Eve looked at her sharply.

“Crowley.” He corrected automatically. “No wait,  _ Eve _ . Say  _ Eve  _ Mary!” He whisper shouted, aware of the very public setting they were all in.

Newt and Anathema finally arrived and Anathema placed a hand worriedly on Adam’s shoulder.

“You didn’t mention  _ him  _ being here.” Eve said.

“ _ Him _ , is right here.” Adam said definitely but the adults ignored him.

“Really sorry about this Crowley, but his mother caught us on our way out and asked if we could take him with.” Newt explained.

“It’s Eve.” He hissed, anxiously looking at Mary.

“Crawley.” Mary giggled again and bopped him in the nose. He closed his eyes with mild irritation and wondered what he’d ever done to get himself in this sort of mess.

There was a delicate throat clearing and Samantha was by his side.

“Hello sorry, couldn’t help but intrude. You are Anathema’s fiance then?” She directed her question to Newt. 

Newt nodded his head and stuck his hand out. They exchanged pleasantries and Samantha beckoned them to come back with her to the booth since customers were coming over now but she would like some company. 

“Crawley come too.” Mary said, as Eve handed her gently over to Anathema, who hadn’t stopped cooing at the toddler since Samantha introduced them.

Samantha’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Crawley?”

Eve giggled again the same weird high pitched way he had before, earning him a weird look from everyone.

“My brother,” he explained away to Samantha, “is named Crowley and Adam here likes to tease me by calling me by my brothers name because we look so alike.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you had siblings.” Samantha said.

“Bet you don’t know a lot of things.” Adam mumbled. Samantha flushed with embarrassment and out of habit, Eve cuffed Adam behind the ear. Gentle enough that it didn’t really hurt, but hard enough so it smarted a little.

“Apologize.” Eve said sternly.

Adam eyed Eve wearily but apologized.

Satisfied, Eve told little Mary that he would be right with her, he just needed to talk to Adam first.

Eve steered Adam away from the little group and they walked over to a booth selling knitted toys. Eve made pleasantries and asked where the bathrooms were. The man behind the booth pointed them towards a cluster of trailers and Eve led them over there.

Once they were behind one of the trailers, Eve snapped her fingers and was once again Crowley. 

“Alright, you want to tell me what that was all about-”

“Me? You have some explaining to do to Crowley.” Adam crossed his arms and looked like he was trying not to pout.

Crowley huffed. "First explain to me why you were so rude to Samantha."

"Because you have gone an' replaced Aziraphale with that woman. That's unfair to them both."

"I have not replaced Aziraphale with Samantha!" Crowley shouted.

Adam blinked at Crowley's genuine denial.

"What do you call it then?"

"I just nanny her children. I nanny for just about all the children in this area." Crowley said wondering to himself why he had to be so defensive towards Adam.

"Alright." Adam drawled slowly, clearly not believing it but dropping the subject. Crowley felt uncomfortable now and shifted from foot to foot. He didn't think he was using Samantha...was he? He thought back to their moment in the booth and remembered the sinking feeling of guilt. 

So now he was lying to himself, great. Perfect demon all the way round.

"So, how have you been?" Crowley asked awkwardly.

Adam raised an eyebrow. "I've been doing alright, mum and dad took me to visit Aziraphale a few times these last five months," he said with a pointed look at Crowley.

Crowley tried not to roll his eyes. This kid really wasn't going to let this go was he?

"Did Anathema tell you anything?"

"Enough for me to be willing to help you. But both of you need to get your heads out of your asses."

Crowley scratched nervously at his tattoo and felt a little bit of pride that the kid was so level headed..and also swearing. During the one week he'd actually grown rather attached to the kid, so it felt pretty natural to tug the kid into a side arm hug. Like any pre-teen boy, Adam struggled right away before 'giving up' and allowing himself to hug Crowley back.

"I missed you kiddo." Crowley admitted softly.

Adam moved away quickly but not quick enough for Crowley not to see the tears he was wiping off his face.

"Right, so we need to set the _two idiots in love _plan into motion."

Crowley pulled a face.

"You can't deny it. Aziraphale can't seem to realize that you are Raphael, even though you sound and look like him right? And you can't seem to get it through your head that Aziraphale also loves _you _as you are now, even if he is still pinning for Raphael. You just need to talk to him."

"It's not that _simple. _I hardly remember anything, I have a vague idea that I was with Aziraphale, but nothing concrete. I used to think that I was just recalling a dream I'd forgotten whenever Aziraphale popped up in my head. How will he feel if I just tell him I used to be Raphael. There are so many factors that neither you or Anathema are considering-"

"A memory spell!" Adam said excitedly.

Crowley squinted down at him. "A wha'?"

"You need a memory spell, so you can remember everything and give the proof to Aziraphale that you really were the archangel he's in love with and not playing a trick on him."

Crowley leaned against the trailer and put his hands in his pockets.

"That could work." He found himself muttering aloud. 

"He would still need to talk to Gabriel about how I.._vanished. _I don't know what God did once I was cast from heaven, because I'm still remembered by humans, and Aziraphale thinks I'm creating galaxies, not a fallen angel."

"We need to tell Anathema." Adam said grabbing Crowley's arm and dragging him back into the bustle of the fair goers.

"Hold on a sec would ya?" Crowley saw a gaggle of teenagers in their path and as they passed through them, he flowed from Crowley into Eve, coming out of the group hiking his skirt up so he wouldn't trip as Adam practically sprinted back to Samantha's booth. 

Newt was sitting on one of the chairs with Mary in his lap, while Anathema was helping Samantha with a customer. Eve slid in easily beside Anathema and pulled her aside to explain Adam's idea. Anathema brought her finger up to her chin as she pondered the idea, "I'm not exactly that kind of witch." She whispered. "I've never done a spell like that before, I can try but there are no promises."

Eve nodded, because he suspected already that it wouldn't be as easily done as saying a few words to get his memories back.

He made his way over to Samantha and she brightened at his approach.

"Would you need help after the fairs over?"

Samantha shook her head. "Clive, my brother-in-law is going to be coming around at the end to help me."

"Brother-in-law?" Eve asked, not hiding his surprise.

"Yes, you see I.." She looked uncomfortable and started fiddling with a jar of peach jam. "I was rather close with my ex-husbands family, and after everything they are still nice enough to visit from time to time. Jamie and Mary adore Clive and Marilyn - his sister - and I don't have the heart to separate them."

Eve gave a sympathetic smile. He didn't know much about Samantha's ex-husband, just that he was rather abusive and had abandoned them one night out of the blue. He had promised to himself the first time Samantha had broken down and told him the story, that he was going to torture the son of a bitch in as many ways as he could think of. Take a page from Hastur.

"I'm going to take Mary around the fair then, maybe pick up something for us to all eat?"

Samantha thanked him and said she would prefer if he would pick up something sweet for her. With that in mind, he also went to take orders from Anathema, Newt, and Adam, but all three informed him that they were going to be walking around by themselves and that he should enjoy the time with Mary. He shrugged and picked up Mary from Newt's lap and kissed her on the forehead, earning a large toddler smile. He snapped his fingers discreetly so the lipstick mark on her forehead disappeared and bid goodbye to everyone.

Anathema's phone began to ring at that moment and she answered it nervously.

"Hello _Aziraphale, _I wasn't expecting you to call-" 

She shot Eve a panicked look and Eve adjusted his hold on Mary, wondering what was going on.

"You're _where _now?" Anathema asked, putting one finger in her ear so she could hear over the loud crowd. 

"Booth 28, booth 28." Anathema was murmuring to herself as she came around to the side of the booth and spotted the number 45.

"Oh crap..no not you Aziraphale, we'll meet you at booth 30, just stay there." She started frantically ushering Newt and Adam out of the booth. Anathema made a noise into the phone and started protesting, "no it's fine Aziraphale, really the walk is no trouble you don't have to-" she cut herself off and pulled the phone away from her ear to look at it. "This is what happens when you give an angel a smartphone," she showed them her screen, "he's hung up on me by accident." 

Samantha was looking at them curiously and Eve took that as his cue to leave. 

This was the park all over again, he knew he should man up and finally speak to his angel but he had the memory spell idea stuck in his head now and there was also Samantha to worry about. 

He could easily spot a bouncy head of white blond curls making their way through the crowds and he offered another quick "ta" to everyone before rushing off in the opposite way with Mary in his arms.

Eve walked around with Mary, pointing out all the booths that had colorful paintings or other things that would interest a child. He bought some candy floss for the two of them to share and he waited around as one of the booth workers painted a butterfly on Mary's cheek. Eve was scanning the crowd for the angel or the rest of the gang in case he needed to make a dash for it again. He was rather good at blending in but it was a bit harder with a little toddler chattering at him.

"Creve, face paint too?" Mary questioned, oddly mashing up Crowley and Eve.

Eve tried to protest but Mary wasn't budging and the painter was watching them with a kind and amused smile, so Eve sat down and let the painter do her work. Mary picked out a bluebell and the artist got to work while Eve hefted Mary up onto her lap and listened raptly to Mary as the toddler began telling a story about the biblical vegetables Jamie had told her about because he had to watch them in school.

Eve took her hair out of the bun as the air around them became cooler as the sun started to set. Mary took this as her cue to try and braid Eve's hair, her chubby fingers not gripping well enough but Eve admired her determination and did a little demonic miracle to make his hair more susceptible to Mary's fingers.

Eve was too busy enjoying himself that he didn't see a familiar blond walking towards him. 

Eve was reaching into her pocket for money to pay the painter but the woman shook her head, saying the payment enough was getting to enjoy Mary and Eve's company, she explained that Mary reminded her a lot of her own daughter when she'd been younger, and since she was going to be closing the booth soon she was fine with offering the art she'd done for free.

He thanked her and took Mary's hand and walked straight into Aziraphale.

"_Crowley_?" Aziraphale said his name as if he wasn't daring to believe that Crowley was standing before him.

Eve swallowed and stepped in front of Mary, trying to block the toddlers view of the angel.

"Of course you're not paying-"

"She said it was free, I offered to pay." Eve snapped. Before, Aziraphale would have been happy at Eve's politeness, now he looked almost disappointed. Disappointed in Eve or at himself for thinking Eve wouldn't pay, Eve didn't know.

"My apologies." Aziraphale said quietly.

"Where did everyone else go?" Eve asked.

"They're getting their portrait done by one of those cartoonists. I decided to wander around a little more."

Eve nodded and restrained himself from trying to touch Aziraphale. It had been five _bloomin _months after all.

"I see you're back as...Ashtoreth. I guess that's why I couldn't find you."

"Eve now really, Anathema said I needed a first name," Eve could feel Mary becoming impatient and squirming against her leg.

"Didn't think anyone would want to find me anyways." He couldn't help but murmur.

"Crowley, _dear, _I-"

"Mummy?" Mary piped in, peeking from behind Eve's skirt, eyeing Aziraphale with confusion.

"It's not mummy, Mary. It's just a fri-an acquaintance of mine." 

Aziraphale looked hurt by the switch from friend to acquaintance but took it all in stride and squatted down so he was Mary's level. He offered his hand to her. "It's a pleasure to meet you young lady."

Mary shyly shook his hand and hid back behind Eve's skirt.

"I didn't know you were...I guess that explains you in a dress again." Aziraphale said straightening up and tugging down at his waist coat where it had ridden up.

"Yes well, it was only natural." Eve said directing a small smile at the little girl who was clinging to her. 

"How have you been?" Aziraphale asked eagerly, before remembering their circumstances. "I mean, besides everything I-"

"It's fine _angel." _Eve said, trying to be reassuring. "It's rather nice here all things considering. Much more peaceful." He shifted a little closer to the angel. "What about you? Anathema has been telling me a little bit of what's going on but-"

"Oh she has?" Aziraphale asked as a dark expression crossed his face.

"She came to my house today." Eve said slowly, unsure why Aziraphale was getting mad. 

"She knows where you live?" Aziraphale asked sourly.

Eve couldn't believe it. The angel wasn't angry, he was _jealous._

"Well she only found out where I lived because yesterday she saw Mary and I at the park. She only mentioned a few things, mostly just enough so she could rip my head off at first."

Eve gave a little laugh and Aziraphale followed before he stopped abruptly. "You were at the park?" He asked hoarsley.

Eve nodded and made a bold move. He took the angel's hand in his that wasn't holding Mary's and interlaced their fingers. 

"I'm _sorry angel_, I really am. If I could back I would change anything I could to fix this."

Aziraphale's face became pained. "I'm sorry too my dear boy, I should have mentioned _Raphael."_

Eve's face mirrored Aziraphale's once the name had been spoken. Aziraphale tightened his hold on Eve's hand.

"I know you said to talk to Gabriel but you know something too, please just tell me dear I don't think I can bear it anymore."

"Angel, please don't make me. Not yet."

"Why not?" Aziraphale snapped.

Eve was feeling himself breaking down as his angel squeezed his hand even harder. They were inches apart and Eve was forgetting all about their surroundings and Mary. What would Aziraphale do if Eve just leaned down and kissed him? Eve knew that anger was just as passionate as love, so making out right there and then might be actually the hottest thing the two would ever do before Aziraphale came to his senses and smacked Eve.

"It's complicated, just, give me a few days. _Please." _Eve found himself pleading._  
_

Eve was suddenly aware of someone standing beside him and he yanked his hand away from Aziraphale's, turning to face Samantha with a guilty expression.

"I just closed up my booth and decided to come looking for you and Mary myself. Clive's offered to take me home and I was going to extend the offer to you." Samantha said uncertainly, looking Aziraphale and then Eve. Jamie was standing beside Samantha but lost interest almost immediately and started playing a game on his phone. 

"I can see now why Mary thought I was her mummy." Aziraphale said cheerfully. Samantha's brows furrowed more as she took in what was basically the male version of her just slightly taller and older.

"I'll have to decline the offer Samantha." Eve said, hating how crestfallen Samantha looked.

Aziraphale had a weird look on his face and reclaimed Eve's hand. "Prior dinner engagement, I'm sorry love."

Samantha opened her mouth to say something but Aziraphale was already bidding her goodbye and complimenting her children, his grip firm on Eve as he led Eve away.

Mary was giving them a sullen wave, and Samantha stood there looking hurt and furious. Jamie seemed to sense his mothers change in demeanor and looked up from his phone with curiosity. 

Once the family was out of sight, Crowley was back. He planted his heels in the ground, forcing the angel to stop. 

"That was rather rude." Crowley mentioned casually.

He really didn't know how he felt about a jealous angel. On one hand he was flattered and a little turned on, on the other hand the angel had been quite rude to a perfectly kind woman that Crowley might or might not like.

Aziraphale stayed silent, stewing in the jealousy.

Crowley looked around, taking in the strawberry fields and the setting sun. "Do you even know where we're going?" He asked teasingly.

Aziraphale's face became quite flustered and Crowley smirked.

His smirk was wiped off his face when the angel pulled him down by the collar of his shirt and their lips were colliding.

Crowley had been kissed a few times in his lifetime, it was only natural seeing as he was a 6,000 year old being, but he had _never_ been kissed so _soundly _before.

His angel was trying to prove a point and what that point was Crowley didn't give a fuck. He crooked his finger into the belt loops of Aziraphale's pants and pulled the angel closer, his other hand dug into the angel's soft hip, as they continued madly kissing each other.

* * *

Crowley was sitting on a plush lounge chair he'd miracled onto his back porch and sipped from his cup of tea as the sun started to rise. 

Aziraphale came into view, the gorgeous oranges and reds highlighting his terry cotta robed form as he walked over to Crowley. He took the cup away from Crowley and miracled it out of existence and made a slow show of adjusting his robe so he could properly straddle Crowley's legs.

Crowley swallowed hard as Aziraphale pressed himself down into Crowley's lap and molded his upper half to Crowley's.

The demons sunglasses disappeared too as Aziraphale started kissing him tenderly and sweetly.

"Morning love." Aziraphale said, stroking a hand down Crowley's cheek.

Crowley let his hand slither down his angels body so his hands cupped Aziraphale's backside so he could pull the angel closer.

"Mmmmm." Aziraphale moaned, going in for more long and sloppy kisses that had the demon feeling overly satisfied. He loved the heavy weight of his angel pinning him to the chair.

"Oh _Raphael." _Aziraphale moaned again.

Crowley's eyes snapped open and he found himself in his bed, the sheets all tangled with his legs. He was sweaty and flushed and he reached over to slam a pillow into his face so he could scream into it with frustration.

He sat up after some much needed screaming and glared out the window. The sun was coming up and he snapped his fingers so his sunglasses were back on his face. He scratched at his chest and stumbled out of bed, cursing everything under the sun.

Last night had been a haze after the kiss. The kiss that Aziraphale had initiated, Crowley might add.

They had pulled away just enough that they were able to look at each other.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it." Aziraphale's eyes were pleading with Crowley. Crowley suddenly understood what Anathema and Adam were talking about. At this current moment he himself was Samantha, and Aziraphale was him. 

"Ngk, no..no problemssss here." He winced, trying to get the speech part of his brain back on line. He gently removed Aziraphale's arms from him and stepped back.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Crowley said.

Aziraphale looked stunned. "But Crow-"

"No," he said firmly, shocking himself at how level-headed he was being, "this will make everything more complicated. I'll call you in a few days and everything will be sorted out. I strongly encourage you during that time to seek Gabriel."

He had left after that, feeling oddly happy that he had rejected Aziraphale this time, but also hurting because he was seeing how he was affecting Samantha.

Gosh, he was a piss poor demon.

He headed downstairs and checked his phone. There was a voicemail from Anathema saying that she and Adam would be stopping by around lunch time to talk more about the memory spell. He looked at the time and saw he had maybe twenty minutes before they arrived, so he spent that time watering and encouraging (yelling) at his plants, and trying to write down every memory he had from before the fall. 

Around 12:24 there was a knock on the door and he let Anathema and Adam into his home. 

They ate a quick lunch before they went right into it. They were gathered in his living room, the books that Anathema had brought over scattered all over the coffee table. 

"These are all the books that I could find that might be able to help. A disclaimer, they've never been tested on someone who wasn't human before, and as I said already, I've never done this before."

Anathema pointed out each spell and its variations, why Adam took the journal Crowley had been writing in and started flicking through the memories.

"Wow." Adam said in awe, reading one of the passages.

Crowley flushed, unsure as to what could be so amazing that the antichrist - the destroyer of worlds who could manipulate reality - could be impressed by it.

"You really designed _Alpha Centuri_?" 

"Yup." Crowley said popping the 'p', "it was one of my first projects and the first memory I gained back. It happened the first night I slept in Eden.

"Why don't you tell us about that, the more you repeat the memory the stronger it will become and the easier the spell can focus onto it." Anathema suggested.

"Well..." Crowley started.

_"Go up there and make some trouble." Crawly grumbled, slithering his way over the roots of weeping willows. He personally didn't mind causing trouble, but that was such a vague idea. Was he supposed to somehow burn down the garden? Or just upset some of the various wild life living there. He truly didn't know what kind of work his boss expected him to do. He supposed the more treacherous the better so he made his way further into the garden, wondering what was best for him to use as the fire starter._

_Soon he came upon a tall tree that seemed to glow brighter than the midday sun. Two humans - Adam and Eve he supposed - were standing before the tree, eyeing it with disdain._

_"He slithered closer, eager to understand why the humans were so against the beautiful tree. Eve seemed ready to reach for one of its fruits but Adam stopped her. "Remember what God said. It is forbidden to eat fruit from the tree of knowledge."_

_Eve hung her head, but followed after her husband. Once they had disappeared from sight, Crawly went up the tree, settling his large and long body on a thick branch that seemed perfectly made for him._

_He wondered what so bad about knowledge? He would have thought God would want her creations to have free-will and understanding of the universe. _

_Crawly nearly fell off the branch as a strong vision appeared before him. A man exactly like his human form was standing before a light that could be presumed to be God._

_"But why mother?" The angel was asking. "Why must the humans be kept in the dark?"_

_The vision disappeared and Crawly felt sick. He tried to shake it off and started to form a plan to tempt the humans into eating the fruit. This seemed a much better way of causing trouble than just burning down Eden._

_That night, as he coiled around a branch to sleep on, he dreamed of the stars._

_He was the male again, and in his hands were a kaleidoscope of bright colors. They bounced and flickered as if they were alive. He cupped his palms and brought the lights up to his face and blew on them. They danced out into the black sky and began to form Alpha Centuri. He laughed with delight as one of the stars kissed his cheek as it went to join the others._

_"Good work Raphael." God said.  
_

_Crawly woke up the next morning with his first fully fleshed memory, and his true name, seared into his brain. _

"I suppose because I was an archangel, my memories were slipping through the cracks. I doubt Beelzebub or Hastur ever remembered anything from before."

Anathema nodded in agreement and picked up one of the books and hummed to herself.

"I think this spell will be the best one, it deals with the restoration of memories and has the highest accountability of it working."

Crowley was starting to feel hope building in his chest.

"Right then, what are we waiting for?"


	5. Samantha, Wielder Of Frying Pans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I will be moving into my dorm on Sunday; getting used to my classes; and working on the next two chapters for "There's something about Aziraphale", I won't be able to post another chapter til after Thursday 8/29
> 
> Thank you so much for your understanding :)

Crowley, Anathema, and Adam were gathered around a large pot that was boiling on the stove. It was a neon orange color, and smelled of a weird mixture of something flowery and sour.

"And that's supposed to go in my body?" Crowley looked down at it with disgust and pointed into the pot. A large bubble burst at that precise moment and he withdrew his finger quickly so it wouldn't be sprayed by the retched liquid.

"Are you sure you did the spell right?" Adam asked, peering into the pot with curiosity and horror. Only a twelve year old boy could find the potion that Anathema had just brewed to be awesome and disgusting.

"I followed every step perfectly." Anathema snapped, turning the heat off and ladling some of the potion into a glass that was set beside the stove. "And I told you I'd never done a spell like this before, but by all means complain."

Crowley and Adam backed away from Anathema with their hands up in front of their chests, in the universal sign of 'please don't hurt us'. She scowled but they could see she was trying very hard to keep it in place as a smile kept breaking through. 

The glass fogged up because of the hot liquid, and that somehow made it look even more unappetizing. 

"Well, as they say, bottoms up." Anathema nudged the glass closer to Crowley with her finger.

He drummed his fingers on the counter; hemmed and hawed til his corporeal form needed to breathe; but there was no getting out of this one if he wanted to get his memories back.

He picked up the glass, eyed it one final time, and gulped it all down as quickly as he could.

The liquid was cool and tasted like rose water which was a pleasant surprise. He set the glass back down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, letting out a small burp.

"That actually wasn't so bad." He informed them.

Anathema frowned, "how are you feeling?"

Crowley shook his arms and legs out, and rolled his neck til it cracked. "Rather good. A little tingly in my hands but otherwise-" Crowley didn't finish his sentence as the rose water taste disappeared. What took its place was similar to the sort of rotting garbage smell that made its way from your nostrils, to the back of your throat, and onto your tastebuds. The entire inside of his mouth and throat also felt like it had been coated in something thick and sticky.

He doubled over and gave a large cough.

"Oh, oh Sa-Go-someone that is _nasty!" _

He stuck his tongue out and dipped his head into the sink, turning on the faucet at the same time so the water would rush over his tongue. He had no such luck of washing the taste out, it actually seemed as if the water was making it worse.

He was starting to feel feverish and he swayed as he moved away from the faucet. He leaned heavily on Adam before making some unintelligible noises and slumping to the ground in a knocked out heap.

* * *

_Raphael absentmindedly was swirling his finger in a cloud, making a small vortex. _

_He had some free time because it was Michael's turn to work on the sky, and Raphael already had an idea as to what he wanted to do next. So instead of using the time to come up with more ideas, he was out of his mind with boredom._

_That is until a he heard an exclamation of warning and he just had enough time to tilt his head up to see a figure rapidly closing in on him. The figure crashed into him and they both tumbled through the clouds, landing a few feet away from Raphael's previous spot._

_Raphael coughed up some clouds out of his mouth and wearily looked at the stranger. "Are you alright?" He asked, mildly irritated at the newcomers entrance, but at least there was something going on to distract him from his boredom._

_He had a feeling that whoever this new angel was, probably had the rank of a cherub. They seemed to be coming into existence more frequently before and they never knew how to fly properly. _

_"I am so terribly sorry." The angel that had landed on him said, staring at him with wide and apologetic eyes._

_Raphael was feeling something he'd never felt before. Well that was not quite true, he had felt this feeling before from God and from his siblings, and he had of course felt that feeling in return for them. It was love. But he had never felt it to this extent._

_Looking into the angels eyes he found himself helplessly lost in how blue they were, and how they fit so well in the round and pink face that was still apologizing to him._

_Raphael held up a hand to stop the angel and adjusted himself so he was raised up on his two elbows instead of flat on his back._

_"It's alright now," he said comfortingly, "what is your name?" _

_"Aziraphale." The angel said shyly, and scooted off of Raphael to kneel beside him._

_Raphael sat bolt upright. He had heard that name before._

_"You're a principality?" He squeaked out, trying to awkwardly bow from his sitting position. "I had no idea, please forgive me."_

_He had heard from his older sister Uriel that there was a new principality named Aziraphale that was to be the guardian of the eastern gate for the garden God was building. That was one of the highest honors Raphael could think of besides being able to help shape the universe like he and the other archangels did._

_"Really dear, there's now need to apologize to me." The principality's hands were hovering around Crowley as if wanting to touch him but not knowing how it would be received._

_"Please, it was I who crashed into you. I'm afraid I injured my wing earlier and it's still a bit wonky."_

_Raphael perked up at this. "I could fix it if you like?" He said eagerly, it was rare for any of the angels to get injured, so it seemed almost pointless for him to be a gifted healer, but it fit him rather well and it was a gift from God so he knew not to complain about the lack of job. Besides, he had the stars and worlds to help shape._

_Aziraphale looked at him in awe. " I didn't know anyone besides God could do that."_

_"Of course." Raphael said proudly. "God entrusted me to help those when she is too busy. I'm sure you've seen that garden she's been building. Her and Azrael have been having some sort of disagreement about it."_

_Aziraphale and Raphael shared a look. Fighting wasn't unheard of in heaven, not by a long shot, but an angel blatantly disagreeing with God was something most angels could not fathom_

_"Then you must be Raphael?"_

_Raphael nodded, pleased that the principality had heard of him._

_Raphael motioned for Aziraphale to extend his injured wing out and the blond did, the large appendage draping itself delicately over Raphael's lap. The feathers were in a disarray around the injured area but it wasn't to bad. Raphael put his hands over the wound and slowly lowered them til they almost touched the feathers._

_He looked at Aziraphale for confirmation and felt a tingle in his lower stomach when he saw how intently Aziraphale was watching him._

_"Just trust me." Raphael said, and finally pressed his hands into the feathers._

* * *

Crowley woke with a start, his silk bed sheets sticking to his sweaty body.

He let out a loud groan and put the heel of his hand up to his forehead as a pounding headache started to fade. He squinted in the dark of the room and tried to remember why he was there instead of in the kitchen where he last remembered he'd taken a drink from that horrid drink.

There was a movement to his left and he could just make out the blurry figure of Anathema approaching him with something in her hands.

"You came down with a fever and collapsed so Adam and I moved you up here." Anathema said softly and set whatever was in her hands on the nightstand table.

Crowley rubbed at his eyes as Anathema maneuvered him into a sitting position so she could move the pillows up. He leaned back against them and eagerly took the bowl of soup from the nightstand himself, not waiting for Anathema to give it to him. He was terribly hungry and ate the soup quickly, barely taking anytime to taste it.

Anathema took the bowl from his hand when he was done and returned it to the nightstand, she then handed him a notebook and pen and instructed him to start writing down the memory. While he wrote, she explained everything that had happened while he'd been out.

"It seems that the way the spell works, is it will reappear while you're in a fever induced sleep, and then you need to write it down once you wake up because the next time you wake up you don't remember anything at all. You have been out for three days and each time you wake up you're hungry, I give you some food and then you write and fall back asleep."

Crowley licked his lips. "Three days? Really?"

"You're rather missed Crowley. I've had to answer a bunch of calls from the concerned moms who are wondering how you are. Samantha actually delivered the soup you just ate."

Crowley made to reply but his eyes were already rolling back in his head.

* * *

_"You're being extremely foolish." Papillon said, their lips curled in disappointment._

_Raphael shifted from foot to foot and looked behind him in uncertainty. He was certain he'd just heard someone behind trees._

_"I'm being the foolish one? You're the one who is still clinging to Lucifer and his lies."_

_Papillon glared at him. "You're being a hypocrite."_

_Raphael frowned and looked over his shoulder again._

_Papillon and Raphael had snuck into the garden to have a conversation that had been building with tension for weeks. The garden was strictly out of bounds until it was finished but there was enough complete that two angels could hide and have a secret meeting._

_"Okay, yes, I was swept into his lies at first, hanging out with his crowd, but I'm trying for a clean slate now." He put a hand on Papillon's small shoulder. "Please, you need to ask for God's forgiveness, before it's too late."_

_"And what about you? You're not asking her for forgiveness are you?" _

_Raphael's arm dropped to his side and he looked away._

_"You're still going to ask her the question aren't you?" Papillon whispered harshly._

_Raphael glared, "the question at least is not affiliated with Lucifer's agenda," Raphael snapped back._

_Papillon scoffed and shook their head to move the bangs out of their eyes._

_"Both have the same consequences." Papillon seemed to have lost the anger they had been harboring and dropped their composure, becoming smaller than they already were._

_There was another rustle from behind Raphael and this time both of them heard it. Raphael threw a desperate look at Papillon and pulled them into a quick hug, knowing deep down inside his heart that this would be the last time he'd see them. Papillon looked at him with regret before flying off, leaving Raphael alone to deal with the eaves dropping angel._

_"You can come out, I know you're there." He called over his shoulder._

_The rustle of leaves came closer and he turned around to come face to face with Aziraphale._

_"Oh." He said weakly. From the principalities expression he had clearly heard enough. There was no way out of this._

_"Yes, oh." Aziraphale said darkly. "Mind telling me what you're doing at this hour with Papillon of all angels?"_

_Raphael looked down at the ground feeling ashamed._

_"You do know that they are the right hand for Lucifer." Aziraphale stated instead of questioned._

_"Of course I do, I was trying to persuade them to-"_

_"Yes I heard that, I also heard the part about you asking a question."_

_Raphael heaved a sigh and looked up at the heavens. This wasn't how this talk was supposed to go, to be perfectly honest he would have rather never had this conversation because he was a coward and he didn't want to see Aziraphale's face when the principality learned what he was about to do._

_"Please tell me this question you're asking is something mundane, like 'how many types of flowers are in the garden God?'"_

_Raphael winced._

_"Raphael please," Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Raphael's waist and pressed the side of his face into the taller archangels chest, "don't leave me."_

_"Who said anything about leaving?" Raphael asked resting his chin on Aziraphale's soft blond curls, and allowing his arms to loops around the principalities large waist._

_"I'm not stupid, I know what consequences Papillon was talking about." _

_Raphael squeezed the principality harder and kissed the blond's head._

_"It'll be alright, trust me." He said more so for himself than for Aziraphale._

* * *

Crowley woke with a start, tears streaming down his face.

He startled whomever was sitting at the edge of his bed but he didn't care. He could remember everything, every little detail and now his head was filled with agony. Now he could properly understand how Aziraphale felt. He had relived those precious moments before the garden of eden, had felt the angels love firsthand once more.

The figure placed a cool and soft hand against his forehead and he muttered out, "Aziraphale?"

The figure withdrew their hand quickly, and a hurt voice replied, "It's Samantha love, Anathema had an emergency at home and called me to take care of looking over you."

Crowley squeezed his eyes shut and weakly grasped about the bed til he found Samantha's thigh.

"Thank you dear." He said giving her thigh a short squeeze before his hand went limp.

"My pleasure." She said blushing.

She placed her hand back on his forehead and he leaned into the cool touch.

"How are you feeling? Your forehead is pretty cool."

"Much better, I think the fever fully broke. How long have I been out?" 

"You've been in and out for five days in total." 

Samantha smiled at him in sympathy at the face he pulled and let her hand fall to land on his chest.

"You've cut your hair." She said softly.

He froze, aware now that he didn't look like Eve at all right now. "Umm...yes well..Anathema said it would help. Would feel much..erm, better without my long hair sticking to my neck from the sweat."

Samantha nodded and moved her hand to card through the spiked red locks, her expression tender.

"I'm going to go back down and start cooking you lunch, I'm sure you need it after being in and out for that long."

It was once she left the room and shut the door that he began to wonder why she hadn't made a comment about his eyes. Maybe she had thought that it'd be impolite to ask questions, or that they had been the effects of being so sick. He hardly had time to ponder much more before he heard a large crash from downstairs.

"Samantha?" He called out, his throat slightly hoarse from not being used.

He threw the covers back to start heading downstairs to check on her but he could hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so he sank back into the pillows, assuming Samantha was on her way up to tell him she was ok. 

It took him a moment longer than normal to realize there were two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, and they weren't the light footsteps of Samantha.

The door to his bedroom slammed open and Gabriel stood there, looking furious.

Crowley tried to scramble further into the bed but there was nowhere to go as the archangel stomped his way over.

Crowley could just make out Aziraphale behind the broad figure of Gabriel before the archangel grabbed him by the throat and lifted him from the bed.

"So, you've been telling Aziraphale about _Raphael_ now have you?" Gabriel seethed.

Crowley pawed helplessly at the hands around his throat. He was still disorientated from waking up and he was becoming quickly overwhelmed. There were too many things going on. Aziraphale was here was the first thought that flew through Crowley's mind, the next few thoughts were a mad jumble about Samantha still being in the house, Gabriel choking him, and the fact that he finally had the proof he needed to tell Aziraphale about being Raphael.

"You just have to keep ruining things, making everyone around you miserable!" Gabriel yelled with a mad look in his eyes.

"You promised you wouldn't hurt him." Aziraphale hissed, coming around to Gabriel's side and glancing worriedly at Crowley.

The demon was kicking his legs widely as Gabriel threw him across the room straight into the dresser. The dresser shook and a few drawers opened as Crowley tried to catch his breath. Aziraphale rushed over to him and kneeled, cradling him into his side.

"That's _enough _Gabriel." Aziraphale growled, giving the sternest glare he could manage.

"Enough? _Enough? _ Aziraphale you would not be saying that if you knew what _he _was doing."

"What?" Crowley croaked out, making Gabriel turn his attention back to him.

"Don't play dumb _demon. _You're bringing up _Raphael _now to further drag Aziraphale away from God. Leave what needs to be left alone, alone!"

Crowley winced as Aziraphale pulled him closer. The dresser had dug deeply into his his back and shoulder blades and he couldn't help but let out a whimper as a wave of pain shuddered through his body.

"Do you _want_ him to be fallen like you?"

Gabriel took a menacing step forward and easily pulled Crowley out of Aziraphale's hold, putting him in a choke hold again. Crowley's toes brushed the floor in a weak attempt to stand. The archangel was furious and unaware that if Aziraphale so wished, the principality could stop him. Aziraphale was starting to stand, looking rather menacing and ready to do just that - stop Gabriel at whatever costs - but it was then he noticed Samantha in the doorway. Crowley noticed at the same time and he felt his heart beat quicken.

She was shaking and paler then usual. She was biting her lip so hard that it was becoming shiny with her blood. Crowley tried to warn her to leave without alerting Gabriel to presence but his vision was starting to fade, his corporeal form not meant to handle the trauma it was going through.

To Crowley's horror and fascination, Samantha crept forward and started raising her arms above her head. The way she was holding the thing in her hands made him think she was holding a bat. It looked like she was ready to hit a home run. Instead, as he tried to make his vision focus, he saw it was one of his frying pans.

With a mighty leap, she shot into the air, swung her arm wide, and made the frying pan connect with the side of Gabriel's head.

The archangels eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he released his grip on Crowley, sending the demon falling to his knees. The archangel followed, landing heavily on the ground completely knocked out.

Samantha stood there trembling, her arms still up in the air with the frying pan.


	6. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Gabriel was in the closet.

There was a joke in there that Crowley could make but he was _very _aware of the situation he was currently in.

Samantha looked sick, and the frying pan fell to the floor as she covered her mouth with her hands. 

"I-I didn't mean to." She stammered out, looking at Gabriel's unconscious body. 

"It's fine," Crowley wheezed, trying to stand up from his kneeling position, "I would have killed him if I were in your shoes." An agonizing jolt of pain shot up his spine and he doubled over. Two figures rushed towards him, hesitantly evaluating each other before deciding Samantha would be the one to comfort him first.

"I've got you." She said softly, cradling him in an echo of how Aziraphale had held him moments before. "We need to call the police." She said, starting to lift Crowley up so he could go on the bed.

"No." He said sharply, startling her. "There's some rope in the shed out back, I need you to bring it here."

Samantha looked at him with her mouth wide open.

"You can't be serious!"

"Samantha, please." 

She fussed with the collar of his pajama top before nodding and leaving the room, sending a glare towards Aziraphale.

The minute she was gone, Aziraphale moved to sit next to Crowley. His hands were gentle as he tipped Crowley's head up and examined the bruises that were starting to form.

"I had no idea he would do that." Aziraphale said weakly. His eyes were shimmering with tears and Crowley wanted nothing more than to wipe those tears away and make the angel feel better, even though he was the one who needed care right now. He wasn't even sure he could heal his corporeal body right now after the physical trauma it went through and the entire mental journey he himself had gone through. He didn't have enough energy left.

"What in heav-,hell- gah, someone's name did you tell him?" Crowley wheezed out, wincing as one of Aziraphale's gentle touches hurt the part of his throat that Gabriel had squeezed the hardest.

Aziraphale's hands fluttered about helplessly when he noticed he'd hurt Crowley, but after a look from the demon, the hands were back and continuing the slow and gentle examination of Crowley's pale and now darkly bruised throat.

"You were the one who suggested I go to him in the first place," Aziraphale gently scolded, "hardly a full sentence went past my lips before Gabriel was storming past me to find you. All I said was that I wanted to know the truth about Raphael and that if Gabriel didn't tell me, then you would have to."

Crowley remained silent and Aziraphale let his hands fall into his lap.

There was the sound of foot steps running up the stairs, and Samantha appeared in the doorway slightly out of breath, a few feet of rope in her hand.

"Good." Crowley croaked and got to his feet, walking over and taking the rope from her hands.

"We can tie him up and shove him in the closet."

"Crowley." 

Crowley startled and looked at Samantha. She was giving him a no nonsense look, and he felt guilt tugging at his heart. He licked his lips nervously.

"How'd you-"

"That bloke when he came bursting in was asking for _Crowley. _Seeing as he didn't turn around once he found you, I assume Crowley and Eve are the same person."

Crowley nodded, and focused his attention on binding up Gabriel.

"I think you need to explain to me what's going on."

"Now, Ms. I don't think now is the time-"

"Oh you do not get to start with me. As far as you're considered I'm lumping you in with the unconscious fella. Until Crowley or whomever she or he or they is verifies for you I will not hesitate to pick that frying pan up and smack you across the face with it." Samantha took in a deep breath after all the words rushed out of her and Aziraphale's face turned an unusual shade of red.

"Let's get him in the closet, and then you're starting from the beginning." Samantha wagged a finger at Crowley and squatted down so she could grab Gabriel's feet.

Crowley was feeling a lot of things, one emotion was clear though, he had a lot of admiration for how calmly Samantha was acting as he helped her shove the archangel into the closet.

The three of them stood in the bedroom awkwardly after Crowley convinced Aziraphale through some complicated hand motions and eye movements to use a miracle to keep Gabriel locked in the closet.

"Let's just go to the living room." Crowley said weakly, and gestured for the other two to the leave the room first.

He gave himself a few seconds alone to gather his bearings before trailing after the other two. He chose to stand as Aziraphale and Samantha sat across from each other on the living room sofas.

Crowley began to pace, trying to figure out what to say. He started to open his mouth and shut it when he saw Samantha wasn't looking at him anymore and her face was flushed. He was finding the same reaction from Aziraphale as well. He looked down and realized that his pajama shirt had a long rip in it showing off his torso - it must have ripped against the dresser when he had been thrown into it - and that he was only wearing a tight pair of obnoxious orange briefs.

He blinked and awkwardly tried to cross his legs, but he was in a nervous mood and pacing would help ease his nerves, and even he wasn't talented enough to pace with his legs crossed.

His eyes landed on a blanket thrown over the back of one of the couches and he snatched it and tied it around his waist like a skirt.

"Right." He cleared his throat and both blondes finally looked at him. 

"I think I should apologize first." He said softly, looking at Samantha. She was staring at him stubbornly but there were tears in her eyes.

"I've been lying from the start, and I think..I know I need to be clear from now on. The truth is very complicated, and I don't want to have to put you through it." He moved to sit beside her and his hand went to her thigh in a familiar comforting squeeze, but one look from her and he retracted his hand into his lap.

"I need to apologize for that too." He smiled bitterly and glanced over at Aziraphale who was trying not to watch but wasn't very subtle about it.

"Maybe we should do this bit in private, Aziraphale why don't you call up Anathema and Adam and see what the emergency was about and bring them up to date."

Aziraphale crossed his arms over his chest and glared at them both before nodding and getting up to leave the room.

Crowley sighed and struggled to figure out where to start.

Samantha watched him with guarded and worried eyes.

"First, I should apologize for how i've treated you. It wasn't right making you believe I had certain...feelings for you. I mean I do? It's so bloody complicated." He sighed heavily again and gently took her hands in his.

"When I first moved here, I was in a dark place. Getting to nanny the children helped pull me out of it, and getting to be your friend was the high light of my time here. But I was taking advantage of your kindness and was in denial up until recently. I wanted to believe that we could be together as more than friends, I really did have that hope Samantha but. I can't keep leading you on when this can't go anywhere."

Tears were streaming down Samantha's face as she cried silently, and Crowley felt his heart clench. She nodded for him to continue when she saw that he had more to say.

"I've truly hurt you, and if I could do this all over I would. Just know that you still are very dear to me and I will do whatever I can to make things better, even if you can't forgive me."

She bit her lip and nodded, swallowing loudly and taking one hand away from his so she could wipe her face.

"You know what my background is, maybe not all of it but enough that you shouldn't have been treating me this way. I feel like an idiot, just throwing myself at you. I've been having a war with myself these last few months because you were presenting as woman and I'd never been in love with a woman before. I didn't want some of the people in this town turning on me because I was attracted to the same sex!" Her voice climbed higher and Crowley winced.

"And then, after all that physical abuse and mental abuse I put up with during my marriage I think maybe I can trust someone again and-", She cut herself off and wiped away more tears from her face.

"I won't forgive you for this. At least not now." She said softly. "Though you could argue that I was just making this whole thing up, this connection we had but you admitted it so don't think you're getting out of this. You're in the dog house now." She said sternly, trying to smile.

Crowley didn't know what to say. He was expecting a slap, or for her to storm out of the house.

"I guess I can also see why you might have..latched onto me."

She placed her hand back into his open one and scrunched her face up in puzzlement.

"I really do look like him." She said in wonder, and then gave a little hiccup, from all the crying, and she flushed with embarrassment.

"When Aziraphale comes back we can continue talking about what just happened, and my background and all those juicy gossipy details." He nudged her gently with his shoulder to show he was teasing and trying to bring the mood to a lighter and happier tone that they normally shared together.

"There's also one thing I want to discuss with you before he comes back, it's about my eyes."

Her eyes immediately flickered to his at the mention of them. 

"You didn't question them at all and I haven't put my sunglasses on once since I woke up."

"Well, it's kind of a silly reason."

Crowley cocked an eyebrow.

"Its just, with the way you showed up out of nowhere right when I needed someone, and you were just so kind to myself and the kids...I kind of got the notion that you were a guardian angel." She laughed at her admission and Crowley looked at her with astonishment.

"Seeing your eyes solidified the idea. I always figured angels would look like us but have some sort of quirk about them that separated them from us. Your eyes being so snake like made sense to me from a angel view point." She laughed again. "It sounds so stupid saying that out loud."

"Ngk." He said and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

She stopped laughing. "Oh you can't be serious." She whispered in shock.

He shrugged and stopped holding her hands so he could stand back up and begin pacing again.

"You're right about one thing, I'm er..not exactly human. But I'm also no guardian angel, or any kind of angel. Or at least not anymore."

Samantha looked at him in confusion.

"Not anymore..." she trailed off and suddenly her eyes widened with understanding and her face went pale.

"That's right, I'm a demon."


	7. Time To Tell The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. There has been a change to the tag, that is because I realized that even though Samantha only hit Gabriel with a frying pan, and Gabriel choked Crowley, there should be a violence warning just be safe. Also there is more violence to come and I want to make sure I properly prepare you guys for it :)

Samantha's knuckles were white from the grip she had on her knees, the fabric of her paisley fall colored skirt was crumpled up inside her fists. Crowley could faintly hear Aziraphale ending the phone call with Anathema and his footsteps heading back towards the living room.

"What..what about _him?_" She whispered anxiously, looking up at Crowley.

The demon shook his head. "He's an angel, you don't have to worry about anymore like me."

"Stop that." She said sternly and her hands relaxed from their death grip. "I will say that finding out that you're a demon is rather...world turning right now. I am composing myself well enough that I can handle whatever else you throw at me, and that I will not tolerate you berating yourself because you are still my friend."

Crowley felt a wave of relief and love wash over him and he stopped pacing long enough to bend down and draw her into a hug. She hesitantly returned it before standing up so their position was less awkward.

"As it is, I'm not actually liking angels very much," she pulled away and looked over to where Aziraphale had just entered, "and if the one upstairs is an angel to then I most certainly don't like them." 

Crowley sighed, hoping Aziraphale hadn't heard any of that, and asked the angel about Anathema.

She received a call earlier today that Newt was in the hospital, some kind of fire broke out at the agency he was working at." Aziraphale looked upwards to where Gabriel was located, and scowled. "Newt is actually perfectly fine and it was a false alarm, but then she received a call that Adam's family had been in a car accident so she had to look into that for Adam's sake and once again..falsified reports."

"He didn't want witnesses." Crowley concluded.

"Too bad for him I was here." Samantha said proudly. Crowley laughed but had to agree.

He trusted in his gut that Aziraphale would have done something if Samantha hadn't show up, but he really rather not relieve that moment to see if it was true.

"So," Aziraphale clapped his hands together, "does she know about.." He trailed off looking uncertainly.

Crowley nodded. "Yes, I'm a demon you're an angel and", he turned to Samantha, "the man upstairs you knocked out is an archangel so kudos to you."

Samantha's gave a weak laugh. "Oh, of course." 

She nodded and then laughed again. "That's a story to tell the kids, guess what, mommy just knocked out an archangel with a frying pan. Which one was he?"

"Gabriel." Aziraphale supplied the answer.

"_That _was the guy who had to tell Mary she was pregnant?" Samantha asked shocked.

Crowley nodded and even Aziraphale broke a little smile.

"An odd fit for him, but the almighty knows what's best." The smile disappeared as Aziraphale said that and his gaze zeroed in on Crowley.

"We have a lot of talking to do, besides what do we do now that Gabriel is tied up and in your closet."

Crowley sighed heavily and sat down abruptly. "I don't know how much I can or can't say angel." He ran a hand through his hair. This was a personal matter, but he felt like he owed it to Samantha to tell her the story as part of his apology for leading her on, and that he needed Anathema and Adam to be there to corroborate what he was saying.

"I know you have a lot of questions Samantha, and I will get to them I promise. But there is a very private thing I need to discuss with Aziraphale here, I-"

"I get it." Samantha said holding a hand up to stop him. "I can..stand guard if you like? While you two talk"

Crowley frowned.

"I don't know how well those ropes will hold."

"I'll have the frying pan." She said trying to lighten the mood.

She squeezed his upper arm and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "I'll be fine _Crowley_," before she headed upstairs, leaving the angel and demon alone.

"Why don't you start." Crowley said, offering the floor to Aziraphale as he sat uncharacteristically straight and closed off.

Aziraphale regarded him for a second before walking over to sit directly next to him. Their bodies were aligned and touching one another and Crowley shuddered from the sudden return of the angels heat.

"Well, I went back to heaven to everyone's shock. They are still quite unsure what to do with me now that word has gone out that I can step into hell fire and shoot fire out of my mouth," he glanced over slyly at Crowley who smirked in response.

"I managed to find Gabriel and I sort of well..demanded that he speak to me. We went into his office and he made a polite hello but I could tell he was eager to get on with what I wanted so I could leave and I told him that I had an urgent matter that we should discuss, and well, I brought up how I wanted to know how Raphael was doing."

Aziraphale's body sagged as if his life force had been dragged out after he said _that _name, and Crowley couldn't help but feel jealous about how much Raphael affected Aziraphale, which was silly because Crowley was technically still Raphael. 

"Gabriel immediately went on the defense, demanded what right I had to ask about Raphael and that Raphael was working with God and...I told him that I was going to go straight to _her _than and demand of her what was going on and it ended up slipping out that you were the one who told me to start questioning Gabriel and that's when he went all rigid and demanding to know where you were and in a moment of weakness..I told him." Aziraphale looked away with shame.

"I'm so sorry dear, I just want to know the fucking truth for once and get this all over with. I don't need to be in pain for the rest of my life." Aziraphale snapped and then slapped a hand over his mouth at the realization that he had cursed.

Crowley patted Aziraphale's shoulder awkwardly and dropped the hand back down quickly.

"So did it seem like Gabriel was telling the truth when he said that I-Raphael was still up in the heavens doing God's work?" Crowley asked trying to get a feel for what Gabriel knew or remembered.

Aziraphale looked at him in confusion because of the slip up of almost referring to himself as Raphael, but continued on saying, "It seemed like he was tying very hard to believe what he was saying." Aziraphale said softly.

He then turned towards Crowley with a determined and angry glint in his eye. "And now it's your turn dear to tell me what exactly is going on. You've owed me an explanation since you told me the night of our fight. You just ran off like a coward after leaving me with such a cryptic message."

Crowley winced and shifted a little away from Aziraphale, which the angel took note of.

"I'm sorry that was harsh of me-"

"No, it's not that angel." Crowley was quick to reassure.

The real reason was he needed to put some distance between himself and Aziraphale because it gave him a clearer head, he also wasn't sure how Aziraphale would respond to Crowley finally telling him the truth.

"I know that it was a coward move to just leave you like that but, it was just such an ironic moment for me. The fact that I had been pining for you ever since I saw you in the garden, and here you are telling me that you were in love with _him._" He let out a sarcastic laugh and smiled bitterly at Aziraphale's expression.

"It's not ironic for the reason you're thinking." Crowley said softly.

"I'll tell you the truth with blunt force because you do deserve to know what happened and I'm tired of all these years of chasing after you. I'm not sure how you'll take this so I'll give you some more space to fully absorb what I'm saying."

The angel watched him with worry as Crowley moved over to the end of the couch. The demon couldn't fully leave the couch because he didn't want to far a gap, but he knew the angel would need space to himself.

"Raphael is not in heaven, or traveling space creating new nebulas and stars and planets. Raphael fell with all the other angels who opposed God."

The room was dead silent as Aziraphales white knuckled hands dented the back of the couch.

"H-how can you know this, Gabriel said-"

"Gabriel is either the best liar in the world or someone lied to him." Crowley huffed. 

"Then..then where is he?" Aziraphale pleaded. "How could I not have come across him all these years if he had fallen? Was he forced to stay underground in Hell? Even though you're the field agent on Earth for Hell, I've still met other demons who come up here to take your reports."

"You've met him countless times Aziraphale."

"Wh-what how? Can he have changed that much?"

"Apparently." Crowley said bitterly.

"Well then who is it? You can't hide this from me now that you've said all that you have! Please Crowley, I trust you not to break my heart even more."

Crowley laugh startled both himself and the angel.

"Break your heart even more? Angel this information might throw your heart out altogether for all I know."

Aziraphale swallowed and closed the gap between them and ignored Crowley's protests.

"You must know that whatever you say I won't be mad at you my dear. I'm still going to love you, that's what's making things so much harder, is I still love him but you have wormed your way into my heart too" He cupped Crowley's chin in his hand and brushed a strand of hair that fallen into Crowley's eye back. The demon leaned into the touch, the tenderness hurting him almost as much as the words he would need to say.

"I'm truly sorry dear, but I need you to know where I stand and that there's nothing you can say that will make me turn away from you ever again." He leaned forward and gently kissed the corner of Crowley's mouth.

"Raphael is..is.." He stuttered as his poor brain processed what was happening.

"Is what dear? Is actually Hastur?" Aziraphale tried to joke.

Crowley's hand raised up to cover the hand Aziraphale was using to hold Crowley's face.

"Worse." Crowley said with a tearful smile.

"Dear?"

"I am Raphael."


	8. Everyone Gets A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : There is Blood and Violence in this chapter, I'm sorry but also I'm really pleased with how this turned out.  
Also wow two updates almost back to back, what a shock!

The silence that followed was the kind you'd find in the eye of the storm. Chaos and destruction surrounding one little area of peace and quiet.

It was just Aziraphale and Crowley in that moment, no Gabriel, no Samantha, no worries about when Anathema and Adam would arrive.

Aziraphale audibly swallowed and brought his other hand up to cup Crowley's other cheek.

"It..it can't be." He whispered.

"Have I any reason to lie to you angel?" Crowley asked, giving his best smile, calling back a conversation they had what seemed like years ago.

"Well, you are a demon."

"Well I'm not lying about this."

"Oh my god." Aziraphale cried out and then threw himself forward. HIs face mashed into Crowley's uncomfortably hard but Crowley couldn't care. He let the squirming angel wiggle his way onto the demons lap, and just let himself get overwhelmed with the kiss.

"Oh my darling, oh I've missed you so much I-" Aziraphale cut himself off by kissing Crowley again. The kiss was tender but hungry, the angels lips moving a mile a minute making it hard for Crowley to keep up. His hands fisted into the material of the tan waistcoat around Aziraphale's waist as he clung on. 

"Who's going too fast now?" He panted as Aziraphale finally released him from the kiss.

Aziraphale threw his head back in joy and laughed, before looking down at Crowley with a fond expression that would have taken Crowley's breath away if he had needed one.

"There's more to explain angel." Crowley said regretfully, looping his arms around the angels waist loosely because he didn't want to lose the contact he was just given.

Aziraphale nodded hesitantly and arranged himself so he was head was snuggled into Crowley's chest, and his finger kept making little swirls on Crowley's bicep, making the demon shudder.

"Why don't I remember you?" Aziraphale asked sadly. "Its almost like a mental block now that I think about it, I can remember our time together but I don't know if you were blonde or red haired, tall or short." He shook his head, his hair tickling Crowley's chin. "I can't even picture your eye color."

Crowley's hold tightened. "I'm not sure angel. After I'd recovered from the fall, all I knew was that none of the demons could remember who they were before, and that the angels memories were hazy whenever they tried to remember it. When I first came into Eden I had a dream of our time before, but back then I didn't understand that it was a memory trying to come through. Over the decades I've had more dreams like that, memories that have resurfaced showing me as the angel Raphael."

"Why did Gabriel tell me that you were still up in the heavens doing God's work then? Why do all the other angels believe that?"

Crowley bit his lip. "I believe that someone's lied to him. I don't know why they wouldn't want people to know I had fallen, maybe one archangel going to Hell was enough damage to Heaven so they needed to cover this up. 

"Why didn't you tell me that you were actually Raphael that night in the bookshop.

"How could I angel? You were so angry with me and I couldn't just spring that on you and then have you hate me even more, that's why I said to talk to Gabriel. I thought he would finally come clean that I wasn't up there anymore, and during that time I could find some more proof to show you that I was Raphael without a doubt."

Aziraphale tilted his chin up and stared longingly into Crowley's eyes. "I could never hate you," he said softly.

Crowley titled his head down and shared a long and sweet kiss, till his insides started to feel like they were simultaneously turned to jelly and on fire.

"I had Anathema - _mmph_, angel I, _ngk_, need my lips -" Aziraphale pulled away from the kiss with a pout and snuggled down further into Crowley's lap which made the heat in Crowley's lower stomach flare up even more which was very inconvenient timing.

"I had Anathema find a spell to recall all my memories, so I've been out for five days getting everything back."

"I really must thank her when she gets here." Aziraphale said distractedly, his eyes never leaving Crowley's lips.

Crowley was bemused. He had no idea his angel would be like this.

"Anywayssss." He drawled the word out, raising an eyebrow when the angels eyes fluttered shut as a little hiss came out, "I want to be perfectly clear with you right now Aziraphale, just because I have all my memories back and all the feelings from before, I'm still just Crowley. Whatever I feel for you now is because it's demon me that's in love with you. I'm sorry but I'm not going to revert back into Raphael, I've been Crowley for far too long and.." he trailed off hesitantly, "I like being Crowley."

Aziraphale sat up more and nodded, staring down at Crowley.

"It will take a bit of time to get used to it but I'll accept whatever you choose Crowley. I have enough love in my heart to do that."

Aziraphale, using all his courage, pushed Crowley til the demon was laying on the couch with Aziraphale on top of him, his softer body settling against the harsh angels of Crowley's body as if they were puzzle pieces. The blanket that Crowley had managed to keep around his waist finally fell off and Crowley sucked in a quick breath as Aziraphale trailed a finger lightly over his hip bone.

"I've missed you so, so much my demon." Aziraphale said, kissing away the tears that fell freely from Crowley's eyes. Crowley tried to cover his face with his hand but Aziraphale grabbed him by the wrist and started to gently kiss his knuckles, then moved down to his palm.

Crowley had never felt such love before and he was beginning to become overwhelmed. He couldn't tell what was real anymore, as Aziraphale seemed to now be glowing in a dizzying gold light. He looked at where their skin touched and saw that his skin was also glowing, but a pale silver.

Aziraphale looked puzzled at their hands and looked up at Crowley.

"You're glowing."

"So are you." Crowley said, suddenly feeling defensive. It wasn't his fault they were both turning into freaking light bulbs.

There was a soft hum, feminine and familiar that echoed in their heads, and then the glowing was gone.

"Was..was that?" Crowley licked his lips as his throat went dry.

Aziraphale shook his head in disbelief. "I think it was dear."

They shared a small smile, their hearts filled with love, and began kissing again. Crowley's hands settled on the angel's plumper backside and took joy in the little squeaks Aziraphale gave whenever Crowley's hands squeezed at the angel's ass. Aziraphale's thicker thighs squeezed around Crowley and their touches became more urgent. Aziraphale's hands were stroking Crowley's face and burying themselves in the red haired spikes. 

"Mine." Aziraphale panted out, surprising the both of them.

"As you wish." Crowley smirked and dived back into the kiss before the angel could say anything.

A knock at the door startled them both and they pulled away, quickly smoothing down their hair and clothes.

Crowley went to answer the door and found Anathema and Adam there. 

"It's good to see you too are ok." Crowley sighed with relief, and then let out an _"oomph" _when Adam barreled into him and hugged him. He did the same treatment to Aziraphale when the angel showed up behind Crowley.

Anathema shook her head angrily.

"That bastard had us believing something horrible was going on and I'm going to give him a good smacking when I see him." 

"Samantha already beat you to it." Crowley smirked, leading everyone back to the living room.

Anathema smiled. "I knew I liked her. How are you though, its good to see you up and walking. Did it..work?" She hesitantly looked between Aziraphale and Crowley.

Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley's waist and possessivley left his hand on Crowley's hip. "I think that's answer enough dear," Aziraphale said smiling.

Anathema and Adam congratulated them both, and Crowley and Aziraphale explained what had happened since Anathema had left.

Adam was just telling them about how he'd given his parents quite a scare when he had burst into the house saying that someone had told him they'd been in a car accident, his parents had to calm him down and explain that nothing of the sort had happened, and Anathema once again voiced that she was going to slap Gabriel, when a shattering crash coming from upstairs made them all leap in their seats bolt up the stairs.

Crowley reached the open doorway to his room first, his eyes taking in the absolute mess of the room. Aziraphale bumped into him and was about to apologize when he took in what Crowley was looking at.

The closet had burst open, the wooden door lying in shattered chunks on the floor. The drawers were still ruined from earlier when Crowley had ran into them, but there was now a drawer missing, and it lay on the other side of the room, where Gabriel was standing with part of the rope still clinging to his legs. He was staring down at something on the floor with revulsion and horror, and his hands were shaking as he tried to straighten his suit and fix his hair.

Crowley couldn't see what Gabriel was looking at because the bed was blocking it, so he cautiously walked into the room, vaguely aware Aziraphale was telling the other two to go back downstairs.

Anathema and Adam were stubborn though and they compromised to wait in the doorway; Aziraphale hurried after Crowley, close on his heel.

There was a feeling of dread in the air as Crowley took in the archangels appearance and the lack of Samantha in the room.

"I- I didn't mean to." Gabriel said as they rounded the corner of the bed and were finally able to see what he was looking at.

Samantha was splayed facedown on the ground, a pool of blood on the floor by her head.

Crowley's insides went numb, and his legs gave way so he fell to his knees. 

"No." He said hollowly. 

He scooped Samantha's bodies into his arms and cradled her limp form to his chest. 

"I'm so s-" Gabriel started but Crowley glared at him.

"Shut it! _You _do not get to say _one _word." He growled, cradling Samantha closer to him, as if to shield her from Gabriel's gaze.

Aziraphale squatted down beside him and slowly extended his arm out to feel Samantha's neck.

"She has a pule Crowley, Anathema and Adam can take her to the hospital." He said, urging Crowley to let go of Samantha so he could take her.

Crowley bit his lip harshly, and wasn't aware it had been hard enough to draw blood until he kissed Samantha's cheek and when he pulled away he found a new blood spot on her peaceful but pale face.

Anathema came into the room and took the heavier girl into her arms, struggling a little from the girls unconscious state. Azirphale performed a small miracle so Anathema could carry her more easily and told her to hurry to the car and drive to the hospital.

"Tell her that I'll be there as soon as I can, don't let her think I'm abandoning her." Crowley pleaded to Anathema. The young witch nodded and left with Adam.

"She's going to be fine Crowley." Aziraphale reassured the demon, squeezing his shoulder. "Head wounds look worse than they actually are and bleed more than other areas even if its a small cut. She's just unconscious my dear."

Crowley nodded and shakily got to his feet.

"I'm going to kill you." Crowley said in a cold voice, before launching himself at Gabriel.

They both crashed through the wall and into the next room, which was Crowley's storage room.

Gabriel coughed as dust and pieces of wall settled around them, but Crowley's fist was flying into his face before he could finish.

"Look what you did." Crowley snarled, aiming to punch again, but Gabriel blocked him.

"I hope you enjoy the pain you'll receive when heaven finds out you hurt a human ." Crowley cackled madly, his wings snapping out, giving him the momentum to lift Gabriel from the floor and fly him into a mirror which shattered agains the impact. "Maybe you'll _fall_."

"Crowley I didn't mean too, I swear! I was just trying to get out of those ropes that _you-"_

"DO NOT BLAME THIS ON ME!" Crowley howled.

The air around them shifted and at first Crowley thought it was because of Aziraphale, who had just entered the room and was heading towards them to probably try and break them up, but then he looked back at Gabriel and saw his haunted expression and realized the air shift had been his.

He looked behind Gabriel, into the few pieces of the mirrors glass that had stayed in their frame, and saw that his entire body seemed to be covered in purple, yellow, and black glowing spots, which reminded him of looking up at the night sky.

Gabriel took that moment of distraction and pushed with all his might, sending Crowley slamming backwards into something cold and hard.

"That is enough!" Aziraphale snapped, giving off a powerful energy. His glare cut through Gabriel and and the archangel backed down, panting slightly and pale faced.

Everyone seemed to forget that Aziraphale was still a principality, and principalities were ranked higher than an archangel.

"Now, we're going to settle this with words, not ripping each other apart. Right Gabriel?" Aziraphale snapped.

The archangel nodded.

"You too Crowley, you're not getting off the hook- Oh no, Crowley." Aziraphale's voice was wracked with despair, and even Gabriel looked worried when they both looked at Crowley.

The demon suddenly became aware of a sharp piercing in his side and he looked down to see something familiar and made of marble sticking out of him. His blood trickled onto the floor, mimicking the same small pool as Samantha's.

"Oh." He said, his vision becoming blurry as he used all his strength to pull away from whatever was impaling him.

He stumbled into his angel's arms and looked behind him, seeing the familiar cool and marble statue he had saved from that church during the Berlin Blitz.

He weakly chuckled.

"Thasss fun-ne isn it?" He slurred, struggling to keep his eyes open. "Really funny." 

And the world went dark.


	9. A Step Closer to Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, but I wanted to get an update done even though I've had a crappy last few days because my roommate got me and the rest of our suite mates sick and I'm stressed from work and school soo ahaha, hopefully it isn't reflected in this chapter.

There was a light buzzing in Crowley's ear, that started as a gentle noise and then crescendoed into a body shaking vibration. Crowley tried swiping at whatever was near his ear, but the more he did so, the louder and more furious the buzzing became.

He jolted awake, the noise disappearing the moment his eyes opened. It was now eerily quiet, the buzzing seemed like a dream now, but his body was still trembling slightly from the harsh vibrations.

Crowley felt overly warm so he tried to remove the fabric covering him, but he paused when he took in the state he was in. His body was still littered with the star like dots, of bright yellow, purple, and black. The clothing he was wearing was a shimmery and stretchy white toga like material, that was loosely draped over his entire body. He hesitantly reached up and felt his hair was longer and more curled.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and stood up from his lying down position, and realized the warmth he was feeling was the same warmth Aziraphale gave off. He felt something heavy on his back as he tried to balance onto his feet and he looked over his shoulder to see the peaks of white and downey feathers. 

Crowley let out a startled cry and fumbled awkwardly as he tried to take in the state of his wings.

He couldn't be an angel again right? How was that even possible?

He remembered that the statue had gone through his gut and the panic that had set in as blood spilled down his front. He looked down immediately at the spot the wound should be at but there was nothing. He swallowed and tried to calm himself.

He couldn't be dead...could he?

Crowley surveyed his surroundings for a moment. He was in an area that resembled the original Eden, but he could tell that it was just a mock up from the hazy colors of the entire area, as if he was looking at them through fogged glasses, and the taste in the air. He shivered as a light breeze whizzed past him and the area around him became even more distant and weird.

"I thought that it would have a calming effect to have you back here, but you were always able to see the truth my boy." A disembodied voice said and Crowley sank back to his knees.

"God?" He whispered, his feeling going in every direction.

There was a loud booming noise and the entire mock Eden shook with the force. A figure was suddenly standing before him.

"I thought this would be more appropriate since you can't see my true form anymore." The figure said, her expression sad.

She was taller than him with softly curled brown hair and a sharp and almost bird like features. She was draped in a dark purple dress similar to Crowley's and her eyes kept changing from blue to green, too white, too purple, and to every other color in between. She walked quickly over to him and sank on to her knees before him.

"I'm really happy to see you, whether you believe me or not." She let out a little hum, the same as before, and he sank into her welcoming embrace. Hardly believing what was happening.

"Am I dead?"

"No sweet one, not yet." She pulled him into her lap and he breathed in the familiar scent of flowers and raw energy.

"I'm just using this moment to talk to you my child. There are a lot of things we should discuss, but I only have a small window of opportunity." She brushed a kiss against his forehead and he willed himself to pull away from her to look up and actually see her face.

"I should apologize for casting you out." Her face was serious as she cradled his face in her hand. "You will think me cruel but your question struck me down at the moment I needed you to be on my side. Lucifer had completely turned away from me, and you coming up to me and questioning how I was going to run the world was like a rug being pulled from under my feet. I trusted you to always be on my side _Crowley."_

Crowley shuddered at his name. "I had to ask, you need to understand that what you've been doing-"

"I know." She said with finality and he clamped his mouth shut.

"But if those events hadn't occurred. If you hadn't questioned me and if I hadn't been so full of myself in that moment, none of this would have happened. In a way, your fall was a fail safe. You were part of the reason Adam chose not to end the world. Your part in this was as big as everyone else's. You needed to be there for Aziraphale. He's loyal to a fault, and being around you gave him the courage to understand that his place was with humanity...and with you."

He stayed silent reflecting on what she had said.

"Why did you lie about me staying in heaven."

God gave a humorless chuckle. 

"I've been away for far too long, I'll admit to it. I wasn't paying as much attention to the angels as I should have been after the fall, I was just looking at the humans. One particular archangel took it very hard when you were confirmed to be one of the fallen."

Crowley's eyebrows came together to express his confusion.

"Gabriel..but he said someone else told him that information, or at least that's what Aziraphale said and Aziraphale trusts him."

"Not Gabriel, _Michael."_

Crowley felt his heart sink. He recalled the bright and strong archangel Michael, his younger sister who clung to his every word and followed him around like a little duckling. A very different Michael from what she was now.

"But-."

"Talk to her." God urged, and gently kissed his forehead again.

"You need to go back now sweet one. Aziraphale is still trying to heal you and so is Gabriel. Which reminds me, you are allowed to give Gabriel one, and I do mean _one, _smack for all this foolishness he's brought forth."

Crowley numbly nodded, though he normally would have danced for joy to have a free chance at smacking some sense into Gabriel.

"I love you Crowley." God said as she and the garden faded away.

* * *

Crowley woke up on the floor of the room, a distressed Aziraphale's voice fading in and out as Crowley regained consciousness.

He opened his eyes and could blearily make out Gabriel and Aziraphale, their stances tense, as Aziraphale switched between begging and threatening the archangel to do something about Crowley's wound.

The demon felt a sharp pain in his side and he reflexively let out a groan, drawing the attention back to himself.

"Oh my dear, how are you feeling?" Aziraphale kneeled down beside Crowley and hovered his hands over the wound. The hand and wound glowed gold and Crowley winced as the wound began to heat up.

"I regret being so sentimental." He gestured towards the statue, which had been cleaned of his blood.

"This is no time for jokes." Aziraphale snapped, but his shaking hands and pale face showed that his anger was out of fear and worry.

Crowley looked up at Gabriel and beckoned him closer. The archangel eyed him suspiciously but squatted down.

"Would it make you," _pant, _"feel better to heal me", _pant, _"if you knew I just came back from talking to God?" Crowley strained to say as Aziraphale removed his hands and the burning became worse.

Gabriel's face pinched up but he saw how determined and truthful Crowley was being and he pressed his hands hard into Crowley's abdomen.

Crowley let out an unearthly scream that sent Aziraphale falling onto his backside in shock, and made Gabriel press harder. There was the smell of burning flesh and then it was all gone. The smell and the piercing pain disappeared and Crowley was as good as new.

Crowley breathed a sigh of relief, and said a quick "thank you," to Gabriel before socking him hard in the jaw.

Gabriel looked at him in disbelief as did Aziraphale.

"Now, before you do anything," he said holding up his hand in a defensive motion, "God said I could do it."


	10. Crowley Not Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to posting this chapter, sorry for the delay!

They had moved back down to living room, Aziraphale and Crowley on one couch, with Gabriel wearily watching them from the other.

Crowley had changed from his blood soaked clothes to a pair of loose black sweatpants and a billowy green blouse from Nanny Ashtoreth's wardrobe. He knew that the outfit in no way matched, but his life was unraveling and changing ever since he woke up and he could find no energy to care what he was wearing.

He also thought that the green blouse matched the green of the frog slippers he had put on, though heav-hel-somewhere know's where he had gotten them from.

Crowley had no idea how he was going to even bring up this conversation, where did he even start?

Luckily Aziraphale seemed to be picking up on his struggles and asked for Gabriel to clarify once again what he had been told in relation to the archangel Raphael.

"I was told that Raphael hadn't actually fallen, and had been sent off by God to stay away from Earth and create more planets and stars. They had an argument or something but nothing on the same level as falling so his punishment was to just stay up amongst the stars creating."

"You never questioned that?"

"Well no..Raphael always was God's favorite." Gabriel said looking distantly bitter, but then had a surprisingly warm face as he said, "Raphael was always so talented and caring. I was surprised he wasn't allowed to tend to the Garden but I know he would sneak out there constantly."

"Who told you the information?" Crowley asked, leaning forward so he was resting his elbows on his knees. His stomach was twirling with a weird mixture of excitement and anxiety. On the one hand, he remembered all his time before with Gabriel, and how close they had been even though they had their little fights. But on the other hand he felt miles away from the Gabriel that was sitting across from him.

"Michael did. She pulled us all aside after the war to stop the rumors." He puffed his chest up, "she told us that after the war was won, Raphael would come back."

Crowley's heart ached for his brother. So the entire reason for heaven wanting the world to end was just so an archangel that they believed hadn't fallen would come back to them. He felt guilty, even though there was no reason for him to feel that way. He hadn't been the one to lie about what had happened.

"Like I told Aziraphale, Raphael isn't in heaven. He really did fall that day."

Gabriel's face became an ashen white.

"You're lying."

"I really am not. I wish people would stop saying that, I'm not your average day to day demon, I wouldn't lie about something like this."

"Then why would Michael lie about something like this? She's..she's an _archangel." _

"Probably so we wouldn't have to deal with the grief and loss of another archangel. Losing Lucifer was terrible enough." Aziraphale said sadly.

Gabriel sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well then where is he? If he's fallen maybe I can find him and bring him before God again and she can-"

"That's not a possibility." Crowley cut in.

Gabriel glared. "And why not?"

"Because God just talked to him and there was no mention of being redeemed or even forgiven."

Gabriel's eyebrows came together in confusion.

"What do you mean _he just talked to them, _there's no way you could possibly know that!"

Crowley bit the inside of his cheek, feeling the emotions swirling around in his stomach and going further up into his chest. 

"What do you remember about him?"

"What? I remember-." Gabriel stuttered to a stop and furrowed his brows even more. "I remember...he had....there was." He seemed to deflate backwards into the chair and looked directly at Crowley with tears welling up in his eyes.

"He had red hair." He croaked out weakly. 

Crowley slowly pointed upwards at his own hair. 

Gabriel's eyes almost bugged out. 

"Then why...why wouldn't you have told me?" 

Crowley shifted uncomfortably, unsure how he felt about Gabriel's hurt voice being directed towards him.

"I didn't have any full memories of it, I would get little bits in my dreams and finally our friend used a spell on me and I was able to recover all my memories...and well here I am."

Gabriel smiled slowly.

"It's good to see you again Raphael."

"It's...still Crowley." Crowley scratched nervously at his tattoo. "I'm still me..or the _me _that fell."

Gabriel's features clouded over. "Of course." He nodded and clapped his hands together. "Well, we need to go talk to Michael then, tell everyone that you're back..or that you were gone in the first place." He trailed off, unsure as what to say.

"We can't do that just yet Gabriel." Aziraphale said hurriedly.

"Yeah, you put my friend into the hospital, I need to check on her." Crowley said bitterly.

Gabriel flushed with guilt and dipped his head. "I really am truly sorry about that, I wasn't watching my strength. I thought it was one of you two."

"Don't let it happen again." Crowley said sternly.

"Yes Ra-Crowley," Gabriel winced and shook his head, "this is going to be really hard to get used to."

* * *

Crowley was sitting outside the hospital room that Samantha had been placed in. His leg was bouncing a mile a minute and Aziraphale kept reaching over to stop the jittering, but it would restart the moment he moved his hand away.

"Its just a concussion." Anathema tried to reassure him again. 

It did nothing to stop his nerves from bouncing.

Gabriel had returned to heaven for the time being, so it was just Anathema, Aziraphale, and Crowley. Anathema had called Adam's parents and he'd been picked up by the time Aziraphale and Crowley had reached the hospital.

"I still feel like it's my fault." Crowley said bitterly.

Aziraphale sighed, "if it's your fault, it's mine too. We both let her go upstairs believing she could handle herself." 

Crowley grumbled and his leg started jittering even more.

The doctor came by half an hour later saying that Samantha was awake and one visiter was allowed at the time.

The two beside him pushed Crowley up from the bench and urged him to go in, seeing as he was the only of the three that Samantha would be eager to see.

He squared his shoulders, ignoring his nerves, and sauntered into the room in the way only he and his hips could. The confidence bravado faded when he saw Samantha propped up in the hospital bed looking pale in a drab paper night gown issued by the hospital.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, making sure to keep his voice quiet.

Samantha lifted a hand up and made a so-so gesture.

"How are my children?" She asked.

Crowley winced. Of course as a mother, Samantha would be wondering about her children. He hadn't even thought to see if whoever was watching the children knew about Samantha ending up in the hospital.

"I'll go find out right now." He whispered and she smiled gratefully.

He popped out of the room to ask Anathema to go and contact Samantha's house to see who was there and make them aware of the situation, he then went back into the room and closed the door behind him. He wanted to get this over with but he also didn't want to overwhelm her because of the condition she was in. He reassured her that Anathema was asking after the children, and then they sat in semi-awkward silence.

"I don't know where to start." He confessed.

Samantha bit her lip and looked at him concerned, "Now is not the best time to go too much into detail I think...I've got a massive headache." She admitted softly.

He sighed. He understood completely but pushing off his explanation was making him act all nervous and sweaty like a human. 

"Why don't we just talk about what happened while I was here."

Crowley gave a weak smile. "We worked everything out, well almost everything. We have one more important step to do but other than that everything is fine."

"So you and Azir..Azra-"

"Aziraphale."

"You two worked it all out? You're together the way you want to be?"

Crowley nodded, a slight smile on his lips.

"I'm glad, really." Samantha said, "I still want to see you happy, and this might sound selfish but...you'll still stick around even though you and him are together? If not for my sake, at least the children's? They really do adore you. And I'm sure all the other mothers and children will be devastated if you just disappeared."

He scootched the plastic chair he was sitting in closer to the bed and took her hand.

"I'm not going to up and leave Samantha, you're my friend," he said sternly, "I can't promise I will be around as much as I was before, the future is unclear now, but I will come back for you, Mary, Jamie, and all the other children." He smiled sweetly and Samantha smiled just as big.

There was a knock on the door and Anathema opened it slowly, sticking her head 'round the corner.

"The doctor says that you can be discharged in a bit and I got in contact with your mum and she's going to come pick you up with the kiddos in the car with her."

Samantha let out a sigh of relief and Crowley squeezed her hand again.

"I'd best get going then, but -," he pulled out a paper that was miracled to have his phone number on it and gave it to her, -" use this number if you need anything in the next couple days."

He gave her a tender kiss on the forehead and followed Anathema out of the room.

"We're going to need to talk to Gabriel again soon as we can, I have a plan to deal with this whole Michael thing."

Anathema raised and eyebrow and even Aziraphale looked skeptical.

Crowley waited, ever eager to add suspense.

"Well...what is it?" Aziraphale asked with a huff, getting fed up with Crowley's dramatic pause.

"We're going to break into Heaven!"


	11. Let's Have One More Night Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a cute little interlude before shit goes down :)

"Can demons crack like humans can?" Anathema asked out of the side of her mouth.

Crowley glared at her as Aziraphale seriously considered what she had said.

"I have not _cracked__, _this is a perfectly good plan." Crowley said defensively.

"How do you propose we do that Crowley?" Aziraphale asked, "this isn't like breaking into a bank or something nefarious like that, this is _heaven!_"

"Well, if you're worried about God, she's not going to care, we have an understanding." He looked upwards out of habit but after his talk with God while he had been unconscious, he was sure she wouldn't mind this. "And we have Gabriel who can help get us in."

Aziraphale bit his lip. "What are we to do _if _ we make it into heaven?"

"We track Michael down, sit her down and explain to her everything that's happened and then..well..." Crowley trailed off and scratched his tattoo nervously. "Then she goes and tells the other angels and...I haven't really thought beyond that point."

"That's _insane._" Anathema said, her eyes widening in disbelief.

"Speaking of insane." Crowley locked eyes with Anathema, his eyes hopeful.

"Oh no." Anathema shook her head, "what in the world could I possibly do? If you think I can just enchant a blanket so you two can be invisible and smuggled into heaven, you're wrong."

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't thinking of a bloody Harry Potter invisibility cloak Anathema, I was just thinking some good luck charms or a protection spell or something simple."

Anathema rolled her eyes but a second later was sitting down on the bench in the hallway they were in and taking her notebook out of her bag so she could brainstorm some ideas.

"An invisibility cloak?" Aziraphale asked, his brows furrowing.

"Yeah, from the first Harry Potter book, when they're at Hagrid's when Buckbeak is goin' to be executed." Anathema said distractedly.

Crowley crossed his arms over his chest, "that was book three witch."

Anathema made a noise of acknowledgement and continued furiously writing in her notebook.

"Who's Harry Potter?" Aziraphale asked, his brows still furrowed.

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "A book series you haven't read? I might just faint."

"Oh hilarious." Aziraphale pouted.

Crowley laughed, "I'll tell you about it later, but right now we need to get ready. I'm thinking no time like tomorrow to set this plan into action. We'll summon Gabriel again, pickup whatever Anathema makes for us, and then off we go."

Aziraphale nodded slowly and heaved a heavy sigh. "Seeing as I can not think of anything to recounter your plan, I guess I have no choice but to go through with it."

"That's the spirit." Crowley said sarcastically.

The trio went out to the Bentley after Anathema had a scribbled a few more things into her notebook. They dropped her back off at Jasmine's cottage and then made the long drive back to Crowley's cottage.

The place was still a mess so they spent half an hour miracling everything back to how it was before. Crowley moved the statue to a more visible area and placed some other objects in front of it. He didn't want to admit he was paranoid about the statue now but he wasn't taking any chances with being stabbed again.

When he was done, he went back into his bedroom and froze when he saw Aziraphale nervously playing with the edge of the black silk sheet.

"It's late so I figured we should both get some sleep." Aziraphale said softly.

Crowley swallowed and nodded.

"Right, 'course."

He approached the other side of the bed, set his sunglasses down on the side table, and stared down nervously at the sheets. 

Crowley heard Aziraphale moving around and then his warm presence was right beside him.

"Unless, this is too forward. I can leave."

Crowley's body whipped around to face Aziraphale and he buried his face into the shorter mans hair.

"Please don't leave, _ngk_, not again." Crowley knew he should be stronger than this, that he wasn't supposed to be exposing his true emotions, allowing his insecurity and vulnerabilities the light of day, but he finally, _finally _had his angel and he would do anything to stay with Aziraphale as they were now.

Aziraphale wrapped his arms tightly around Crowley's waist and soothingly said, "it's ok my dear, I would never leave you. You're stuck with me." He chuckled lightly.

Crowley moved his head and dipped down to kiss Aziraphale full on the lips. The kiss was soft and tender and Crowley had his eyes shut so hard they hurt, but he wanted to focus on the taste and feel of Aziraphale.

He moved his hands down to Aziraphale's plumper rear and used his demonic strength to lift the angel up so he had his thick thighs wrapped around Crowley's slim waist.

Aziraphale gave a gasp at the sudden change of position and Crowley used that to his advantage, his tongue sneaking into Aziraphale's mouth. He laid back down onto the bed, not once having to break contact between their mouths, or reposition Aziraphale's body. That was a talent only a demon like Crowley could possess.

Aziraphale made a low sound and kissed harder, his hands wildly caressing Crowley's upper body. Crowley squeezed Aziraphale's rear again and then trailed a finger to the waistband of the angels pants. Aziraphale stopped his movements and Crowley pulled out of the kiss, concern on his face.

"Was I going too fast?" The blasted words always followed him around didn't they? He moved to get out from under Aziraphale, but the angel pressed his weight down, pining Crowley to the bed.

"No." He said assertively. "Far from it." He rolled his hips down, showing the effects Crowley had on him, making the demon hiss.

"We really need to get our energy saved up for tomorrow though. Having sex now will take away from that." Aziraphale said matter of factly.

"S-e..Sex?!" Crowley stumbled out the words. "We're having sex?!" his voice pitched higher and he closed his eyes in embarrassment.

"Well yes, I assumed that's the next step in our relationship, it has been 6,000 years."

"Oh..yeah right...er..sex." Crowley blinked in a daze as Aziraphale rolled off of him and out of bed, and miracled himself into a soft looking night gown that was more effeminate than Crowley was expecting.

"What happened to the usual tartan?" He asked, leaning over so he could feel the texture of the bright blue nightgown. He was pleasantly surprised that as his hand moved down the angel's waist and to the tops of his thighs, that the material was as soft as he had thought it would be and silky to the touch.

Aziraphale blushed. "I was _persuaded _by Anathema a few months ago to try to branch out fashion wise and well..." he gestured down to himself and Crowley smiled and moved in closer, kneeling on the bed so he was towering over Aziraphale's standing form. 

"I think it looks _really _good on you." Crowley whispered into the blond's ear, and trailed his tongue lightly from the shell to the earlobe.

Aziraphale shuddered and half-heartedly slapped Crowley's arm.

"Not tonight," he protested and Crowley moved away.

"Well, what are you going to sleep in then?" Aziraphale asked as got back into bed and slid under the covers.

Crowley felt a blush rise up as he thought about what he had been wearing for the last five months.

He felt strangely shy as he snapped his fingers and miracled himself into his nightwear.

Aziraphale let out a small gasp, "is that mine?"

"Mmgek?" Crowley mumbled, and self-consciously tugged down the hem of the large tartan sleep shirt he was wearing. 

"It looks good." Aziraphale said softly and Crowley slithered under covers and wrapped himself around Aziraphale's warm form.

The angel miracled the lights off and held Crowley tightly to him, as they both drifted off, preparing for the dangerous journey ahead.


	12. Slithered Into Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck, I started watching the Prodigal Son and I want to write a fanfic for it but idk how to write such complex characters kdfjslk, also David Tennant in the Criminal and Michael Sheen in Prodigal Son are an interesting crossover idea.....

They had done it, they had made it.

Crowley thumped Aziraphale on the back and gave himself his own silent congratulations for pulling off their plan.

The space they were in was rather cramped so there wasn't any part of them that wasn't touching. Crowley moved his knee and knocked it into the wooden enclosure they were in, making the desk wobble.

So yes, the plan had led them to having to hide in Gabriel's office under his desk, but at least they had made it into heaven without any major fuss.

He rubbed his sore knee and squinted out of the gap created by the desk and Gabriel's legs, and focused on the offending article of clothing that the archangel was wearing.

"I've never really taken much time to notice what you lot wear and I'm glad because what on Earth have I just laid my eyes on?" Crowley leaned forward and poked Gabriel's ankle.

The archangel wheeled back from the desk to look down at them.

"What?" He asked testily.

"I'm not sure I'm going to be able to continue with the plan." Crowley put on his best serious face and ignored the sharp elbow to his side from Aziraphale.

Gabriel's face paled, "what do you mean?" he asked with a panicked tone. 

"I mean, the sight of those _ankle warmers_ have traumatized me, I can't bear it." Crowley whined and dodged the kick Gabriel aimed towards him.

"Now really." Aziraphale huffed at the two of them, but even he started looking at Gabriel's weird tan socks or possible shoe covers. 

"I don't normally wear them." Gabriel said defensively, scooting closer to the desk and trying to tuck his feet under the chair and out of Aziraphale's and Crowley's line of sight. "The dress code has become stricter up here recently and I'm trying to follow everything so I don't get called out or give any reason for suspicion."

"Yeah, nothing suspicious about hiding a demon and an exiled angel under your desk hmm?"

Gabriel sputtered, "you're the one who-"

"Shh, someone's coming. What would it look like if they saw you were talking to your desk?" 

True to Crowley's words, there was the faint clack of heels and the door to Gabriel's office swung open.

"Ah, Uriel. Good to see you." Gabriel scooted in even further, almost kneeing the angel and demon in the face, and lowered his hand down in what was a signal for the two to stay silent.

"Michael said she'll be free later today to talk."

Crowley felt a twinge in his heart at Uriel's voice. Uriel had always been level-headed and dull as hell, but that was still his sister. Hearing her monotone voice after 6,000 years was making him feel weak and more aware of the situation they were in. Aziraphale seemed to sense his change in mood and grabbed his hand to reassure him.

"That's great..that'll be all then." Gabriel briskly dismissed her and the trio thought they were safe, but the archangel lingered.

Crowley wished he could see her face, she'd always been so easy to read. The way her thin eyebrows would twitch when irritated, or how her lips drew into a tight pout when she wasn't happy with what was going on but was afraid to voice her opinions. 

"There's been rumors floating around recently Gabriel, regarding you and.._Aziraphale._"

Crowley frowned at the way Uriel said the other angel's name. There was the disdain as expected, but there was a tone of loss there too.

"What about him?" Gabriel asked, the testiness back.

"He was here recently, asking questions about Raphael."

Aziraphale squeezed Crowley's hand so unexpectedly tight that Crowley let out an involuntary hiss. Gabriel made a show of moving his legs around to mask the noise and Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other in worry that their cover might have been blown.

"That was all dealt with Uriel. I'd worry more about how we have a rumor mill going around, versus the questions of an _exiled_ angel." 

"What about the redheaded woman that was let into heaven eh? With two snakes, said their name was Asclepius?"

Crowley tried not to snicker; he could just imagine Gabriel's face reddening.

"Once again Uriel, I would think it beneath you to listen to the other angels."

Uriel said something under her breath and left the office, slamming the door behind her.

"That went well." Crowley said sarcastically, pushing his way past Gabriel so he could stretch his legs.

"Crowley what are you doing!" Aziraphale whisper yelled, trying to grab at Crowley's ankles to drag him back under the desk. 

"Relax angel, the windows are tinted...right?" He questioned Gabriel. That was one thing about heaven, all their offices were furnished with floor to ceiling pristine windows.

The archangel nodded and Aziraphale hesitantly crawled out from under the desk. 

"So, part one of the plan has worked out well, now let's look through the stuff Anathema gave us so we can-"

Crowley was cut off by the door swinging open, revealing a very disgruntled looking Uriel carrying a stack of manila folders.

"Forgot to tell you that these just arrived, they're the quarterly reports of miracles being...used...over their..limit." Uriel's sentence fizzled out as she took in the scene of Aziraphale on his knees and hands, peaking around the desk, and Crowley and Gabriel standing much closer than those who hate each other are supposed to stand.

* * *

**(Earlier in the day)**

Crowley woke up from his slumber cocooned in the softest and warmest thing he'd ever had the luck to find himself snuggled next too.

Waking up so warm and loved meant that his brain functions were slower at starting up, so as his hand trailed down the warm mound to an even softer and warmer mound, his brain didn't process that he was squishing Aziraphale's tummy, and not some soft cloud or pile of pillows.

"Um, dear?"

"Hmngk?" Crowley blinked his eyes open blearily, wondering why Aziraphale was talking to him so early in the morning, and waking him from the cuddle session with the warm thing.

"Crowley, you're um...could you please stop _fondling _my stomach!" 

Aziraphale's sharp and high pitched words reached Crowley and he fully woke up, coming eye to eye with a distressed and embarrassed angel.

"Oh shit." He said, snatching his hand back, "sorry," he said sheepishly and gave the angel a kiss on the tip of his nose as an extra apology. 

He made a show of stretching so he didn't have to look at Aziraphale's embarrassed face - and so the angel couldn't see his own mirroring that expression - and waited til the angel was out of bed before he himself left the bed and got dressed.

"Do you want me to make crepes?" Crowley offered, shocking the angel.

"You know how to make them?" Aziraphale asked, buttoning the last button on his waistcoat. 

Crowley shrugged easily, "I've made them once or twice while I was up here."

He slithered into a dark grey sweater and tight black jeans, trying to ignore the memories that were cropping up of him learning how to make crepes with Jamie and Mary.

He made his way downstairs and into the kitchen, wondering if he had enough time to properly make the crepes, or speed it up with a demonic miracle. The doorbell ringing came to his attention and he hurriedly walked over, unlocking the door to find Anathema with a large canvas bag over her shoulders.

"Newt made pumpkin muffins," she said in way of greeting, and shoved a tin foil covered tupperware at him and marched into the house.

"Hello to you too!" He called out sarcastically behind her, and shut the door with his hip. 

"Adam is really upset he can't go with you guys." Anathema said, dumping the contents of her canvas bag on the kitchen table.

"I think it will be hard enough sneaking Aziraphale and I up there, let alone a twelve year old antichrist."

Anathema grabbed one the binders that had come out of her bag and began to take pages out of it, but Crowley stopped her with a tap to her wrist. "We're eating breakfast first, you can spread everything out later."

Anathema put away all her things slowly, eyeing Crowley weirdly.

"Aziraphale gets cranky if he doesn't eat." Crowley explained, remembering the few occasions throughout the year that the angel had gone for hours without eating. 

Anathema got a look on her face that meant she understood exactly what he meant, and sat herself down elegantly on the kitchen chair, the canvas bag tucked under her legs, as she watched Crowley putter around the room looking for everything he would need for the crepes.

He wondered for a moment how Anathema would know about how cranky Aziraphale became without food, but he then remembered the five months that he had been away from Aziraphale and he felt sick for a moment. 

Crowley shook off the feeling and confidently started cracking the eggs for the batter.

Aziraphale came down when the crepes were almost done, and made polite small talk with Anathema. Crowley hid a smile at the domestic sweetness because he was a demon and absolutely loathed that sort of stuff. He plated the crepes with raspberries and orange marmalade and set them down before Anathema and Aziraphale, opting to have a coffee for himself. 

"So, what did you bring for us?" Crowley asked, getting straight to the point.

Anathema once again put her canvas bag up onto the table and displayed its contents. There were two red chains that Anathema walked around the table so she could fasten them on Crowley and Aziraphale's wrists. "In case you two get separated, the chains will become warmer when you're close to each other, and colder the further away you are."

The bracelet stun Crowley's wrist, but just as quickly faded to a pleasant warmth.

She returned to her seat and passed them each a small, smooth, and cool to the touch rock that fit in the small of their palms.

"Keep this in your pockets, it will protect you, make it harder for angels or anyone else to see through your illusions if you use any."

Aziraphale smiled suddenly.

"That is an excellent idea actually, illusions! You might not know this Anathema but I'm actually a magician in training-"

"Oh sweet lo-sa-someone not this again." Crowley put his head in his hands.

"- and I think I could use certain illusions to trick those upstairs." He glared at Crowley as he finished and Anathema struggled not to giggle.

"Look, there is no way we are using your.._particular talents_.. to get into heaven. An illusion is a good idea and I have just the idea."

Crowley reached across the table and picked up a small root looking vegetable and held it up to the ceiling lamp hanging over the table. 

"This is Taro right? It will help bring out your inner _magic _or something like that right?"

Anathema nodded and watched with interest as Crowley set it back down on the table and started slicing into it with a knife he miracled.

"Miracles are not going to work when it comes to being up there, right angel?" Crowley asked.

Aziraphale fiddled with his fingers nervously. "I hadn't thought of that. In heaven, a miracle is more easily recognized. So if we miracled ourselves into something else we would be noticed on the spot."

"But, magic, _true _magic, can't be detected no matter what. The Taro root will enhance that so any magic we do to disguise ourselves will be fool proof!" Crowley exclaimed as he made a final chop with his knife. 

There were now five pieces of the vegetable on the table. He shoved three aside for himself and then passed one to Aziraphale. 

"You're going to need to eat this so the magic I'm going to perform will work on you, and this other piece will need to be eaten by Gabriel when he gets here."

Aziraphale eyed the root with disdain.

"Not even a bit of salt?" He asked, poking the root with his finger.

Crowley rolled his eyes.

" 'Fraid not, now I need you summon Gabriel so we can do this quickly."

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at being bossed around so Crowley added a please and the angel went off into the living room.

"I didn't know you knew magic." Anathema said, eyeing Crowley wearily.

"There are a lot of things you don't know, or Aziraphale for that matter." He tried to shrug it off, but her eyes were boring holes into him.

"Fine, I was in America for a job during the Salem witch trails. I met and protected one of the actual witches, and she taught me a few things."

Anathema looked impressed.

"Why did you have me help out then?"

"I don't know basic magic, I know tougher spells because I have my demonic energy to help me. Plus I'm rusty, I haven't practiced in years, I'll be lucky if this works."

Anathema nodded in understanding and slid across the table one more thing, a small leather pouch.

"This is to put any possessions of yours that you want to keep hidden, so I'd keep your phone or anything else inside it. I managed to find a spell that will make it larger inside for twenty four hours. I think it suits you since you're basically Mary Poppins." Anathema smirked.

Crowley rolled his eyes but put his cellphone inside and his sunglasses. It had a convenient leather cord that he put over his head so the bag was hanging off his neck.

He told Anathema he was going to go upstairs to grab his costume, and when he came back down Gabriel was standing in the kitchen looking bored and worried.

"So what's the plan?" He directed the question towards Aziraphale first, but the angel pointed towards Crowley and the arch angel's violet eyes snapped towards the demon.

"Easy there." Crowley said, and nudged the taro root towards Gabriel.

"Both of you need to eat this, I'm going to do a transformation spell, and for all of us to be connected we need to eat the same thing.

"Why do you have three?" Gabriel asked.

"Because I'm the spell caster, I'm using the most energy to transform everyone."

"You never did say dear..what you're transforming us into.." Aziraphale said, eyeing the fabric that Crowley had laid onto the table.

"Well, the best way to break into heaven is as an angel, so I'm going to be an angel and you two are going to be my snakes." Crowley smiled sharply.

"Your snakes." Aziraphale said with a bewildered expression.

"Why do you get to be an angel?" Gabriel asked suspiciously.

"Because face it, I'm the best liar out of all of us, and I need snakes to full portray my character. I'm an angel messenger sent by Raphael and I need to talk to the archangel Michael. To do that, I need to get you to schedule an appointment with her so she can come into your office and we can ambush her."

"Why don't I just meet you at my office then?" 

"Because I don't know the layout of heaven anymore, I bet they've done a lot of rearranging since I was there. As for Aziraphale, he was your agent on Earth so he wouldn't have his own office or really even know where everything is right? You guys still use that white endless hall for updates? With the Earth in the middle?"

Gabriel nodded in defeat and popped the root into his mouth with no prompting from Crowley. Aziraphale followed his footsteps, making at face at the odd taste.

Crowley chewed his three pieces more carefully, and then started to undress, feeling a little self-conscious what with three pairs of eyes on him.

The costume he changed into was a thin and gauzy material dress in a peachy color. It had loose sleeves and a slit on the side that gave him easy movement. The dress fit a bit awkwardly with his more male build, but he muttered a few words in latin and his body became fuller and softer, filling out the dress. His hair became longer and more coiled, and a pair of rose tinted sunglasses sat upon the bridge of his nose.

His voice was still male and he had rather masculine facial features, but beyond that he was more feminine than he had been moments ago. Messenger angels always presented as both of the more known genders as they found it easier to approach humans that way.

"Oh Crowley." Aziraphale said, his jaw dropping open.

Crowley felt his cheeks heat up at the way Aziraphale was staring at him. He didn't particularly like that Gabriel was also standing dumbfounded so he clapped his hands together to get the two males out of their dazed looks.

Alright, now I'm going to turn you two into my snakes, to go along with this staff. We'll still be able to communicate normally, you two just need to keep your voices down because heaven will be rather suspicious of two talking snakes"

Crowley took a deep breath and muttered some more latin words, and where Aziraphale and Gabriel once stood, where two rather large snakes. One was a thin purple and black snake that was looking at itself in what could be described as horror. The second snake was a pure white with flecks of gold and was rather fat. The heavier of the two snakes slithered over to Crowley and easily made its way up his body, wrapping a majority of itself around his torso, and nuzzling its snout into the spot behind his ear.

"I can see why you like being in snake form." Aziraphale commented, flicking his tongue out, tickling Crowley's ear in the process.

Gabriel made a huffing noise and slithered on over, looking up expectantly at Crowley.

"Oh alright." Crowley huffed and bent down as much as he could, what with Aziraphale wrapped around him, and picked up Gabriel. 

"This is not going to work." Crowley groaned, as his waist was now rather bulky with the second addition of snake.

He recalled that he used to have a staff, and the human had portrayed him as carrying one with two snakes on it, so he created a gold one and directed the snakes to coil around it. The staff was created int such a way that the snakes were smaller once they coiled around it, and it wasn't heavy at all, which Crowley was thankful for.

"I think we're ready then." He said.

Anathema furrowed her brows, her worry starting to influence Crowley.

"Please be careful, no funny business," she directed the last part at the demon.

He nodded and soon they were off, Crowley using a demonic miracle to bring them in front of a dark cave entrance in the middle of an unknown forest.

* * *

Uriel slammed the door behind her and her face contorted from confusion and surprise to pure anger. 

Crowley wondered how they had gotten from that lovely cave in the forest to this horrible interaction.

"What the holy fuck is going on here!" Uriel yelled.

Gabriel coughed quietly and Aziraphale ducked back under the desk.

Crowley gave a small wave, keeping his hand level with his waist.

"Would you believe we're being reinstated as liaisons?" 


	13. Close To A Bittersweet Ending

Uriel's face was turning an interesting shade of purple. Crowley hadn't known anyone could turn that color.

"What are _they _doing here?" Uriel asked through clenched teeth.

Gabriel was unhelpfully silent so Crowley took it upon himself to speak for the three of them.

"This is all a dream Uriel, you will wake up in a few minutes in your little cloud bed and forget this ever happened." He jazz hand waved and made a noise he hoped made him sound mystical and not like he'd just stubbed his toe and was moaning in pain.

Everyone looked at him as if he'd grown a third head and he stopped the jazz hands.

"Oh alright, can't let a demon have some fun can ya?" He snapped his fingers and Uriel sank to the floor, the manila folders still managing to stay firmly in her grasp.

Aziraphale, having heard the thump of a body slowly crawled out from under the desk and peaked around its corner.

"Oh Crowley, what did you do?" He bemoaned.

Crowley rolled his eyes as Gabriel walked over to her.

"She's fine angel, I just put her to sleep. She'll wake up in maybe an hour and it'll all have been a dream by then.

Gabriel carefully picked her up and set her up against a wall so she wasn't blocking the door. He scooped up the manila folders and placed them beside her as well, before spinning around and calmly walked over to Crowley and very loudly asked, "What the fuck are we supposed to do now?"

Crowley winced. 

"We'll be fine Gabriel, we just go talk to Michael and sort all this out. Uriel did come in to tell us that Michael was ready to see us.

Gabriel crossed his arms and sagged against the wall next to Uriel.

"This is all too much." He sounded incredibly tired and vulnerable and Crowley didn't like that one bit. After Crowley helped Aziraphale up from floor, he hesitantly approached Gabriel and drew the taller archangel into a hug.

They were at first both extremely stiff and awkward, but after a little bit Gabriel loosened up.

"It'll be fine." Crowley said, sounding more sure of himself than what he was truly feeling. "We're one step closer to sorting out this entire mess, so let's give ourselves a quick breather and start heading over."

"Do you have enough magic left over to use your disguise again?" Gabriel asked.

Crowley nodded, feeling a faint throb of the magic in his core. It wasn't a lot but it would last long enough for a few more uses.

"Right, let's-"

Crowley was interrupted by a popping noise and a sudden appearance of a manila folder that landed neatly down into Uriel's lap. Gabriel picked it up and opened it, reading it over quickly. He grimly looked at Crowley. "One unauthorized demonic miracle has been recorded being used in heaven. Great. We're lucky that I'm the one who's stuck with the miracle reports."

He brought the folder over to his desk and put it neatly inside one of the drawers.

Aziraphale walked over to Crowley and looked over at Gabriel and proceeded to have a weird telepathic conversation with him that convinced the archangel to leave the room so it was only Crowley, Aziraphale, and the knocked out Uriel.

"You know, I'm not opposed to some alone time right now," Crowley pulled Aziraphale closer and nuzzled the shorter blonde's neck, "but we really should get going."

Aziraphale lightly swatted him on the hip, but let his own arms encircle Crowley's thin waist.

"That wasn't at all my intentions and you know that." Aziraphale scolded.

The angel pulled away slightly, forcing Crowley to look at him in confusion.

"Its just. All of this seems to be happening so fast Crowley." Aziraphale nervously played with a fraying string on the cuff of Crowley's sleeve. "I'm so glad to have found you, don't get me wrong. And talking to Michael will finally put an end to this mess but-"

"You're scared." Crowley whispered.

"Terrified." Aziraphale whispered back.

Crowley moved his arms to Aziraphale's cheeks and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm scared too for what it's worth. But i've waited long enough and it's time we get a move on and finish this hellishly long story."

Aziraphale pressed a tender kiss to Crowley's lips and the two stood there kissing sweetly, waiting for Gabriel to come back into the room and take them to Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but it felt natural to end it there. We're nearing the end of this story (it's taken like 20 years lol) so I want to thank everyone again for being patient and leaving all your kudos and comments, it really warms my heart to know ya'll like this so much!


	14. What Happens At Michael's, Stays There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14 is finally here, I am so so sorry about the huge update gap. School has seriously taken a turn for the worst and I have a 10 page paper due Saturday, but I've finally finalized my major and minor, and I have all my stuff filled out for my internship and I have finalized my career path!!! Also I'm back on my inhaler which sucks - haven't needed it in like 5+ years - but I had to go to the ER recently and whoop, my lungs be doing an L.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and hopefully I'll be updating again with some normalcy.

Crowley waited outside Michael's office doors with a scowl on his face.

"She's ready to see you now, yeah right." He grumbled, changing his footing so his weight was on his right as his left foot had started to go numb.

A hard boop to his chin from Gabriel had him scowling even more.

"I can complain, even us demons have better manners, it's been about ten minutes."

The boop came again and Crowley mimed zippering his lips before falling silent.

Everything had gone smoothly so far. After Gabriel had come back and they'd double checked that Uriel was still out, Crowley had changed back into Asclepius and he changed Gabriel and Aziraphale as well so they could go onto his staff. Gabriel had hissed into his ear the entire time they were walking, giving directions and commenting on certain angels that passed by them. Crowley felt like he recognized one or two, but it was a fleeting feeling and suddenly he was in front of Michael's doors which had a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and a "Back in 10 minutes" scrawled neatly in gold cursive under the Do Not Disturb.

Crowley managed to wait a few more minutes of agonizing pins and needles in his feet before he brashly knocked on the door.

"Crowley." Aziraphale hissed, his tone scolding. Crowley just rolled his eyes.

"If she's in there she'll hear it and finally open the blasted door, if not well..." he trailed off as he heard a clicking noise from behind the door and it swung open slowly.

"I would think that the Do Not Disturb sign would be clear -" Michael herself off as she took in Crowley's appearance.

"I take it you're here from Raphael then." She said, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed.

She moved away from the door and motioned for him to come in. He could feel the archangel and angel wiggling on the staff nervously as the door shut itself behind him.

A small part of him was in awe by the way the office was decorated, everything was a peachy pink or gold, and everything was shinned within an inch of its life. The office, though narrower then Gabriel's, had a higher ceiling and a skylight that showed a sunset sky.

She gestured for him to take a seat and they sat down in their respective chairs at the same time.

"My apologise, Uriel made it seem like you wouldn't be ready for a while." She smiled thinly and rested her elbows on the desk as she stared Crowley down.

Crowley could feel the heat of her gaze scrutinizing her, and he wondered when she would break. He knew Michael like the back of his hand, even if they hadn't been in contact for 6,000 years, and her icy exterior and hard gaze was proving to him that she knew he wasn't supposed to be here. He didn't think to tell Gabriel and Aziraphale, hoping they would just catch on, but if she really had been the source of the lie and knew that Raphael had fallen, then she would begin to question why he was really here.

"What did you say your name was again? Assle- Ascl-."

"Asclepius, its Greek." He smiled, showing all his teeth.

"And Raphael sent you because he wanted to talk to me?" She asked.

He just nodded, eyeing her hand carefully, as it started to reach under her desk.

"That's the panic button." Gabriel hissed, and Crowley almost flinched at the proximity of the black and purple snake by his ear.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, I don't think you want our conversation leaving this room hmm?"

Michael stilled and turned furious eyes on him.

"What do you mean?" She asked sharply.

"Oh come on Michael, you're not daft."

Her face turned scarlet and her hand moved away from the button.

"There's no possible way Raphael sent you, so who are you and what do you really want?" She glared.

Crowley felt several emotions, the strongest being anger and hurt that it was true, that Michael was aware of Raphael's fall from heaven and had been the cause of the utter nonsense that was the war between angels and demons. 

"I think the better question here is why haven't you told the truth about what really happened to _Raphael." _Crowley snapped.

The scarlet quickly disappeared.

"What?" Michael asked, her face now a pale ashen color.

Crowley sighed, they were just going in circles.

"Michael, just tell me why you lied to us all." He pleaded, getting up from his seat, and setting his staff aside, causing Gabriel and Aziraphale to start hissing frantically but he disregarded them. 

He came around to her side of the desk, making her twist around in her seat and kneeled in front of her, taking her hand in his.

"It's me, you can always tell me the truth."

Michael's face twisted in confusion as Crowley removed his disguise.

"Demon Crowley?! Why I would never-" She tried to take her hand out of his grip but he held on tighter.

"NO!" He shouted, making her pause.

"I mean yes, it's Crowley, but Crowley is also Raphael...I'm talking in third person that's a bit strange." He composed himself and looked up hopefully at Michael who's eyes were bugging out of her head.

"What did you just say?" Her hand going limp in his.

"I"m Raphael."

Her free hand flew up to her mouth to cover a choking sob.

"It can't be."

Her hand hesitantly moved away from her mouth and she used a finger to trace his face from his jawline to his forehead.

"Dear God it is you." She said softly, and Crowley smiled up at her.

Her face changed in an instant though and suddenly Crowley was pushed away. He landed on his tailbone and he muttered a curse, just as a cage with ethereal glowing bars slammed down around him.

"Michael, what are you doing?" He hissed, realizing that his magic wasn't working anymore through the bars. There was a popping noise and Gabriel and Aziraphale were back in human form looking a little dazed.

"Shit." Gabriel said, locking eyes with Michael.

Michael just waved her hand and the archangel and Azirphale were put into the same cage as Crowley.

"Michael slow down, think this through." Gabriel said, his hand resting on the bar. There was a sizzling noise and he yanked his hand back to inspect the burn that had been inflicted from the bars onto his palm.

"This was an ambush." Michael said furiously. 

Crowley ignored that and got as close to the bars as he dared, Michael mirroring his movements. "We need to talk Michael, this isn't the right way to go about things," he pleaded.

Her expression flickered and she sighed heavily, "It's too late, I can't change it, I'm so sorry. Please Raphael." She hesitantly touched his cheek through the bars before turning and fleeing from the room.


	15. Mother Knows Foreshadowing Best

Crowley stood there dumbfounded, almost numb as he watched Michael flee the room, slamming the doors shut behind her.

"That went well." Gabriel said bitterly.

Crowley bristled but didn't respond. There was just something about Gabriel that even though they had reconciled, made Crowley want to throw him across the room. 

Crowley sensed movement to his right and felt Aziraphale's calm and warming presence wash over him as the angel squeezed his shoulder. All he wanted to do was sink back into his angel's warmth, but they were currently all trapped in a cage in Heaven and that was unfortunately what Crowley needed to focus on. 

He heard a heavy sigh from Gabriel and the archangel sat down and closed his eyes in frustration. "What in the world were you thinking?" He snapped after a tense moment of silence.

Crowley looked down, feeling shamed, which was not a good feeling for a demon.

"I didn't think she would react that badly." Crowley tried to plead to Gabriel. "I mean come on she's Michael! She's the most level-headed of us all."

Gabriel shrugged. "Not anymore."

Crowley rolled his eyes and tried to think of what to do. What in the heck were they supposed to do now? 

Crowley resisted the urge to smack his own forehead. Had he really just used the word heck? Heaven was getting to him.

The demon froze as that thought crossed his mind and he looked down at his hands and then at the bars of their cage. The bars had hurt Gabriel, but Crowley remembered - and prided himself - in being stronger than his brother. Maybe being back in Heaven was having an effect on him and _just _maybe he could go through the bars and bring Michael back.

While he pondered, he became vaguely aware of Aziraphale talking anxiously to Gabriel. 

"What do you think she's going to do now?"

"Well she can't just tell everyone I would expect because then her secret will come out."

"But what about just lying to them all again. Make us out to be the betrayers? She's done it before and I'm already blacklisted. She could easily spin a story where Crowley and I have corrupted you and - Crowley?"

Crowley had inched closer to the bars and was now staring at them with determination. He didn't bother reacting to having both angels attention on him as he stretched his hand out towards the bars.

The glowing bars gave off a burning heat as his hand inched closer.

"What the- Crowley just what do you think you're doing?" He heard Aziraphale scrambling over to him but it was too late. His fingers wrapped around the bar and the sizzling noise was back.

He closed his eyes in preparation of the pain and waited....and waited some more. Crowley couldn't even here the sizzling anymore so he peeked one eye open and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion as he pulled his hand back to inspect it. There was no burn mark or any tingles to even suggest that he had just touched the bars. He tentatively poked the bar but it felt cool to the touch. 

He turned and saw Aziraphale and Gabriel suspended in animation. Gabriel was starting to get up from the floor, an annoyed look on his face while Aziraphale was mid-step, his own face a mix between anxiety and anger.

There was a low chuckle from behind him and he turned to see a new occupant had joined the cage.

_"I really can't resist can I? But you were always so stubborn." _

Crowley swallowed hard enough to hurt his throat and willed away the tears prickling at his eyes. 

Her hair was longer than before and she was dressed in more modern clothes - a white pantsuit with a cashmere peach scarf - but the eyes were still the same, ever changing, and her energy filled the entire cage.

_"I promised I wouldn't_ _interfere anymore but I was never really good at keeping that kind of promise was I?"_

Crowley rushed forward and hugged her not giving a damn about formalities. Being back in her embrace on the physical plane was better than when he had been in that other world. Hearing her voice was different as well because even though she was speaking out loud he could also hear her in his head which caused a weird echo effect.

"What do you mean interfere? Are you going to help me out of here?"

"_Well I wasn't going to let my star burn up trying to get out of this cage."_

She snapped her fingers and the entire cage dissolved. Crowley immediately started rushing towards the doors but stopped when he realized he didn't really have much of a plan as to what to do. He turned back and saw God tenderly touching the two angels faces, a sorrowful look on her face.

"_I'm letting you go after Michael so you need to promise me you won't do anything rash do you hear? No matter what happens, I will fix it. Remember that."_

Crowley frowned at the cryptic words and watched as She gave the angels a kiss each on their foreheads and then walked over to him.

"I'm not 100% sure what to do. I don't even know where she went."

God looked him over thoughtfully before pulling a ring out of her pants pocket. She lifted his hand and slipped it onto his finger and blew on it. Immediately it felt ice cold on his skin.

"_She's gone to the atrium but she's cloaked herself. The ring will heat up when you're close to her. She won't tell anyone yet as Aziraphale pointed out earlier that it would unveil her plan but she's a cunning girl, she will find a way to make this all work."_

Crowley nodded and looked towards the doors once more, his feet itching to move but his heart wanting to stay in that room. Going out there meant dealing with the other angels and confronting Michael once again.

He turned back but God was already gone and he had the feeling that she wouldn't be showing up again any time soon. Gabriel and Aziraphale were still frozen but he had a feeling they would start moving soon. He took a deep breath, rustled his hair a bit and walked over to the doors, putting on a brave face.

"It's showtime." He muttered to himself before pushing the doors open with the dramatic flair only Crowley could have.


	16. Crowley Needs A Remembrall

As far as plans went, this surely had to be one of of the dumbest ones he'd ever had by far.

The minute he had burst out of Michael's office, he had nearly knocked over two angels who were just as startled as he was to come face to face with each other. He mumbled a quick excuse about cleaning Michael's office and scurried off in the direction that he hoped was the atrium. He couldn't remember any atrium back when he was an archangel so he would need to ask around. He didn't feel like wandering aimlessly through the halls.

The metaphorical clock was ticking and ticking fast.

He slinked his way down the hall til he came across a distracted looking angel on their iphone.

He ignored the inner angel in him -blegh- and pressed firmly on the angel's neck. The angel looked startled before slumping to the ground. Crowley looked down in surprise, shocked that a move he'd seen on TV had worked on an angel, but he had no time to waste so he quickly shoved himself and the angel into a broom closet.

He switched clothing with the unconscious angel, and used a small miracle to make his sunglasses white - not like anyone was in Gabriel's office anyways. He grabbed the iphone and started scrolling through it, noticing that even though the angels were quite advanced in technology, the iphone he was holding was an 8S plus, and he was pretty sure the humans were already on the 11.

Crowley found the app he was looking for an typed in atrium to see if it would get any results. A map showed up, showing it was about a 15 minute walk.

He sighed and began to trek his way towards the atrium, hoping he looked like he knew what he was doing. The closer he got to the atrium the thinner the crowds of angels were until there were a good few minutes in-between sightings.

Crowley found that curious and hurried his pace, trying to look as unsuspicious as he could. He didn't take any time to look around at the scenery, though at the back of his mind he made sure to keep a mental map of the twists and turns he took in relation to Michael's office. Hopefully Aziraphale and Gabriel were ok and would just stay in the office until he could come back.

Ok and maybe he stopped for a second to admire a statue that looked very inappropriate but he was still a demon for hell's sake!

He came upon a pair of nondescript set of double doors and he squinted at the map to make sure it really was the atrium. A small smiley face had appeared on the app saying that he had arrived at his destination. He pocketed the phone and pushed through the double doors. 

The temperature change was immediate, and he took off the white blazer he had taken during the swap and tossed it across the floor. The room was open to the sky lighting up the entire room. The walls were glass so all he could see out of them was the night sky and clouds, they were too high up to see any of the cities below on Earth. The flooring was made up of large and small stones that branched out into pathways that weaved around sitting areas like an outdoor cafe type setting, and areas that were stuffed with various plants and shrubbery. In the very middle, in front of Crowley was a large water fountain that had three tiers, all of them surrounded by twinkling floating lights. Sitting on the fountain was a familiar figure who was slumped over looking into the water.

Crowley's footsteps were quite as he walked up to her but she easily acknowledge him, looking up with tired eyes when he was within a few feet of her.

"I have to say I'm not surprised you escaped." 

Crowley shrugged and sat down next to her, adjusting himself accordingly so he could splay out comfortably without fear of toppling into the fountain.

"If it helps your ego, mother helped me out."

Michael chewed her lip and looked him over. "You call her mother then?"

"Starting to."

They sat in a somewhat awkward silence, the only sound the rush of water from the fountain.

"I know I should tell them, stop this entire war. I mean you already foiled us all with the antichrist child, but these angels are raring to go." She stuck out a shaky hand and a small fiery red orb formed. 

"This represents the angels moods right now. It's at an all time high and that's only because they think we're going to try again to fight those in Hell. I only started this because I believed that you were stuck in Hell and we could get you out. But the cruel irony is that you were right where you belonged right?" 

Crowley meant to protest but Michael wasn't done talking.

"I don't mean you were meant to be a demon, the exact opposite actually. But I believe you were always meant to stop the apocalypse whether you were still an archangel or a demon. I wish I hadn't told that story, that you were still off in another galaxy. I wish I had been honest and told everyone that you were down there instead of using the war towards my own personal gain of finding you again, but you were such a beacon of hope Rap-Crowley. We had just lost...you know who and to think you were next."

Crowley didn't like to have too many emotions but right now they were all spilling over. He went to reach out to her when something on his hand caught his eye. It was the ring God had given him. The ring that was supposed to burn when he was near Michael but was now an icy cold. 

He withdrew his hand and jolted to his feet, startling Michael. Or whoever was pretending to be Michael.

Just then, there was a loud clanging alarm bell and an angel darted into the atrium, shouting something about a demon infiltrating Heaven. Crowley froze and realized within that instant that his miracles were not just recorded and sent to Gabriel's office, but also sent down below seeing as he himself was a demon.


	17. Lucifer Said Come Home

Crowley stood stunned, the alarm blaring in his ear and nearly shaking him to his core. To his surprise the fake Michael stood up and stuck her arm out, using all her force to push the intruding angel out. The doors slammed shut and Crowley turned wearily towards whoever was wearing Michael's face.

"I've always prided myself at being a good actor you know?" The fake Michael tucked one of the brown curls that had fallen out back into her hair-do. 

There was a brief moment where the energy in the room felt like it was being drained away and suddenly Michael was gone and the man that stood before Crowley was all to familiar.

There were no red horns or scaled skin glowing with the lava like veins the creature had, but the demonic stench couldn't be hidden by the coiffed blonde hair and charming smile.

"Lucifer?" Crowley all but choked out, taking a step back. He was dimly aware of the bracelet around his wrist - the one Anathema had given him - was starting to warm up, but the piercing blue eyes held all of Crowley's attention. As he stepped back, the fallen angel took a step forward making sure to keep their distance as small as possible. He grabbed Crowley's hip with enough force that the demon couldn't move away or twist out of the grip. A tanned hand with sharp nails reached up and firmly pulled Crowley's chin upwards towards Lucifer's face. The demon king was built like Crowley but was much taller and had an almost edible amount of malice around him.

"What did you do with her?" Crowley growled managing to tilt his head back. Lucifer's grip tightened but he allowed the demon his small rebellion and smiled.

"Why should that concern you?" Lucifer practically purred. 

Crowley blinked a few times and felt himself leaning in. Why was that his concern? He didn't owe it to Michael after all she was the one who lied to everyone. Her downfall would come swiftly and that was enough for him.

Lucifer nodded with satisfaction as if he could hear the red haired mans thoughts and gestured for the demon to follow him.

Crowley did just so feeling as if he were floating. It was just him and Lucifer like the old days. Maybe Beelz-_Papillion _would be there too? 

There was a thud to his left and Crowley turned in confusion. The doors of the atrium came into view and they shuddered as if someone was trying to force them open. The burning around his wrist was bringing him out of his haze and he stopped following Lucifer which made the demon stop to and look at him in irritation.

"Come now _Raphael_." Lucifer cooed and they started walking again. Crowley took a hesitant step and stopped again. Why had Lucifer saying his name seem so off putting?

"_Crowley!"_

There was a voice from behind the door that sounded awfully familiar. The voice shouted his name again and he was finally able to break through the haze just in time to see the door splinter open with the amount of force that was rammed against it. Aziraphale barreled into the room, wildly looking around til he spotted Crowley. He gave a relieved smile til it dipped down in confusion as Lucifer slid up behind Crowley and pulled him tightly against his chest.

Gabriel and Uriel ran in after looking as out of breath as archangels can. 

Crowley wanted to know how _and why _Uriel was there as well but before he could talk Lucifer was whispering in his ear.

"So you've made friends have you?" His voice was like honey but Crowley was expecting it and he didn't slip back into the haze he had before.

"Too bad that they're too late. I think I'd like to keep you as a _pet_, train you to _be better_." 

Crowley had a vague idea of where this was going but he didn't know how he could warn his _friends _about what was going to happen.

"I always forget, do snakes like the cold?" Lucifer murmured into his ear, ignoring Aziraphale's shout of anger. Crowley really really wished at that moment that Aziraphale had his sword again. 

"I would ask your forgiveness if you're bothered by the cold but the only place I can keep you _protected _is in the chamber with me."

Crowley swallowed quickly and tried to hide his fear. He knew what the chamber was, every demon under the sun knew what it was. A dark and endless cage that chilled all the way down to the bone filled with demons who had gone mad or didn't fit Lucifer's expectations. He had to find a way to let the others know where he was going, and just maybe, _maybe_, they would be able to rescue him. As they weer right now there was no way they could overthrow Lucifer. They didn't have Adam this time. A plan quickly came to mind, maybe if he could alert Beelzebub about what was happening they would help him. It was a long shot because he was sure Beelzebub loathed him with everything in their heart but if he could make them remember who they used to be...

"Let him go Lucifer." Gabriel growled making a menacing step forward. Uriel grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back. The archangel turned to her with anger but the shorter archangel pointed towards a thin line of fire that had sprouted in front of them. If Gabriel had stepped into it - even though there wasn't that much - he would have been gone for good.

"I don't think so _dear brother."_ Lucifer shouted back tugging Crowley even closer. "I think it was about time we take our leave don't you Crowley?" Lucifer didn't shout it but said it loud enough that the others had begun to protest. Aziraphale looked determined to cross the fire line no matter what.

This was Crowley's last chance. With all his might he yanked the pouch around his neck and tossed it across the line to smack into Gabriel's chest. 

"Dial the 2 it'll take you to Beelzebub. Tell them Papillion and smog!"

Crowley was being vague as fuck and he wished that he could could straight up say what he wanted to say but it was too late, his vision was fading out and he was alone with Lucifer in a black void. He wouldn't have been able to get out all his words in that short amount of time. He could only hope that after they contacted Beelzebub through the cellphone in the pouch they would then be able to convince the duke of Hell to rescue Crowley. He was hoping that hearing their true name would trigger inside them to remember who they had been. It was a long shot since none of the demons seemed to have any memory of who they had been before but it was all Crowley had. As for _smog, _smog was the nickname the demons had given the specific cage or chamber that Lucifer had. To get to it you had to travel through miles of choking smoke that clouded your senses so you would get turned around and lost. Eventually you would end up back where you started but the harder you tried to get through it again the more your sanity was stripped til you ended up in the chamber for your madness.

He could only hope that they could get through to Beelzebub.

God had said that no matter what happened that she was there for him but she didn't even seem to notice that Lucifer had been impersonating Michael or maybe she had lied again and was manipulating them to her will without them even realizing it. No matter the answer Crowley was leaving his life in the hands of his angel and brethren. 

* * *

Gabriel blinked in astonishment as the pair vanished. How the hell had Lucifer been able to break into Heaven? He knew that the alarm about the demon was about Crowley and not the king of Hell himself...and what the hell was Crowley spouting. Why in the world would they go to _Beelzebub_ of all people?

And who or what the fuck was Papillion? There was a small twing at his heart when he thought of the word and he pushed it down.

He frowned, uncomfortable with the amount of curt words he was using in his head and he turned to Aziraphale who was staring at the spot Crowley had just been in.

"We need to work quickly." Uriel was already tugging at the pouch in Gabriel's hand and he let her have it. With one hand she unlocked the phone and dialed two putting it to her ear, at the same time she used her free hand to flick her wrist and the alarm had cut off. 

_Flase Alarm, return to your work NOW._

Her voice rang inside Gabriel's head and he winced. Then again they had knocked Uriel out and if she wanted this to be her revenge then it was better this than something much worse. 

Uriel had come to just as Gabriel and Aziraphale had realized that Crowley had left the room. Gabriel still wasn't clear how the demon had escaped the bars or how he had gotten so far ahead of them but he wasn't going to kick a gift horse in the mouth. Aziraphale had used a bracelet around his wrist to track down Crowley. On the way Uriel had burst out of Gabriel's office running straight into them. She had opened her mouth and the alarm had sounded, sending angels scattering everywhere.

It had been difficult to explain everything to her as they dragged her with them and she had stayed quiet the entire time but she trusted Gabriel and that had helped them. Seeing Lucifer and Crowley was surely what had solidified her to believe them. In that moment, with Lucifer clutching Crowley to his chest, they had all seen how the demons skin had flickered to resemble the night sky like how he had been before the fall.

"Was that really Lucifer?" Aziraphale asked his tone cold.

"He was always so charming in his human form." Gabriel whispered trying to shake away those blue eyes.

Uriel nudged him and put the phone on speaker, holding it between them all.

"_Crowley_, what a_ pleazant_ szurprisze." The voice said sarcastically.

"Beelzebub we need to meet." Gabriel said harshly.

There was a sharp intake of breath from the other line and a crackle. "Gabriel?" The voice inquired.

"We'll meet at the abandoned airport again." Gabriel said curtly.

"Why in the unholy heavenzzz would I liszten to you?" Beelzebub's voice got shriller near the end. "And why do you have that blaszted Crowely'sz phone?"

"Because," Gabriel snapped, "Crowley has just been kidnapped and I can't really explain it all now but just know he wanted us to call you and he said the words _papillion _and _smog _and I'm really hoping you know what that means."

There was a long pause as Beelzebub said nothing on the other end of the line.

Then there was a soft whimpering sound and an even softer "oh fuck", and the line went dead. 


End file.
